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Welcome welcomes to an all new late edition of CHIKARMY Insider, now with 122% more CHIKARMY-ness. Whatever that is. It’ll be back to Sunday next week, I swear. This week, there’s a bunch of news and notes to catch you up on, including words from Lince Dorado, Dieter VonSteigerwalt, and Eddie Kingston. Then, you’ll get every single update that’s been released for the February Chikara shows, one of which is a HUGE tag team title match. Everyone catch the Lost premiere? Mine’s still on the DVR, but I’m hoping that they’ll answer some questions. I also hope that they don’t add some new, strange faction to the mix, further complicating an already frustrating riddle. Or maybe tease a character death…twice. I definitely hope they don’t leave me completely and utterly unsatisfied by the continually frustrating narrative. But even…if…these things happened, I’d still watch every week. The dialogue is always good and the acting’s the best on television. What does this have to do with Chikara? Your face, that’s what.

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- Lince Dorado shocked Mike Quackenbush and his brothers in The Future is Now by turning on them to join the Bruderschaft at A Touch of Class. On the Chikara Blog o’ the Stars, Dorado elaborated: “I’m tired of putting my safety at risk for scattered applause from smug, self-possessed know-it-alls that think they know what makes for exciting wrestling. I’ve almost died – TWICE – for your entertainment, and you have the audacity to boo and heckle me!?!? Who do you think you are? You cold, soulless jerks. The time for a change is seriously past due.” He also took aim at his former friends, saying that they were his enemies now. “Remember,” Lince wrote, “when I am kicking in the heads of men like Quack, the Colony or Frightmare (you know, the guys with half my ability that you blindly support), The Bruderschaft has taught me to give up on those who gave up on me.”

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- Dieter VonSteigerwalt also made a blog post on the Chikara website earlier this week, congratulating Tim Donst for winning the Young Lions Cup and also reverting the YLC rules to their previous state. “Effective 1 February 2010,” the Director of Fun announced, “former YLC champions will not be eligible for future YLC tournaments, nor are they able to challenge again for the Cup itself. For example, with this guideline in place, Player Dos will not have a rematch for the Cup at any point, and he is now ineligible for any future Young Lions Cups.”

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- And now, a tender moment with “The Last of the Dying Breed” Eddie Kingston.

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- So, now that we’ve heard some of the fallout from the show, it’s about time that we get to see it. A Touch of Class, Chikara’s season premiere event, features eight big matches, including Player Dos vs. Tim Donst for the Young Lions Cup, Hallowicked vs. Brodie Lee in a slugfest, the wrestling debut of the Bruderschaft, a brutal grudge match between Green Ant and Pinkie Sanchez, and F.I.S.T. takes on The Colony for the Campeonatos de Parejas in the main event. The show will be available on Smart Mark Video next week. Click on the link to get a look at the absolutely awesome DVD cover art.

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As he stated in the video above, Eddie Kingston is the litmus test for every young wrestler in Chikara. He has pushed BDK foot soldiers Lince Dorado and Tim Donst to the very limits of their ability, and considering the mental state both men reside in currently, it appears that the effects of a Backfist to the Future may mean everlasting madness for the recipient. Tursas, the six foot seven, near four hundred pound brute of the Bruderschaft will not be as easy to put down as the aforementioned rudos. It’s questionable whether Kingston could even lift Tursas, let alone pin him. So it appears that both men will equally test each other: will Kingston find a way to beat a guy that he can’t bully or suplex, or will Tursas overcome Kingston’s “home field advantage” in a Chikara ring to claim victory. While Kingston has made it clear that he is a lone wolf in all of this, Tursas could have back up in the form of Donst, Lince, or even Claudio Castagnoli himself. All three men despise Eddie, so perhaps it’s time to play nice with some of the technicos. Bake Jigsaw a pie. Give Helios tickets to a Dave Matthews concert. Challenge Quack to a game of Ms. Pac-Man. A war without allies is not a time to hold grudges, but it’s hard for a wolf to change his spots. Wait, wolves don’t have spots. Crap.

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Having suffered a crushing defeat at the hands of the Bruderschaft, Mike Quackenbush & The Future is Now might find it hard to focus on their opponents in Reading, The UnStable and Brodie Lee. This is a different group than the one that saw action in January; the now rudo Lince Dorado is replaced with the much more pleasant Helios. Perhaps he can help Quack and Friends better forget the BDK War for now, as The UnStable are masters of heel tactics, and using an opponent’s unfocused mental state against them is a trademark of the stable. However, The UnStable might have a distraction of their own with big man Brodie Lee, who many have speculated could join the faction sometime in the future. If they spend too much time appealing to Brodie during the match and not enough focusing on winning, Quack will take advantage and make them pay. Probably with a palm strike. For some reason, every time I hear “palm strike”, I visualize warm weather. The phrase taunts me and my current climate situation: freezing rain, high winds, and frigid temperatures. I hate you, palm strike.

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On February 27th, Reading will bear witness to one of the strangest trios matches in recent memory. The Colony, a very experienced and battle-tested unit, will take on the BDK triumvirate of Pinkie “Pink Ant” Sanchez, Daizee Haze, and Lince Dorado. I’ve decided I’ll call them “The Golden Pink Haze”. You get a feeling that the BDK really believe that they are unbeatable, and it shows in the match-making. This will be the first chance that either Fire or Solder Ant has had to inflict punishment on Pinkie Sanchez, who posed as “Carpenter Ant” and placed himself in The Colony to gain their trust, only to betray them and confess his allegiance to the Bruderschaft. Soldier Ant especially will look for some revenge, as he has the strong history with Pinkie in his time as Carpenter Ant, defeating him at YLCVII and choosing him for his team in the Cibernetico. He ultimately lost to Carpenter, who debuted the Inverted Chikara Special to win the match. Also, this will be Lince’s first partnering with any of these competitors. So unless the BDK have some sort of plan here, like the bout suddenly being changed to an incomprehensible “German Rules” contest, expect The Colony to make sugar cubes of their opponents. I’m not sure that last remark makes complete sense, but neither has the end to any of the rest of these.

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For the first time in his career, UltraMantis Black has a shot at Chikara gold. And while he also holds two points with longtime partner Crossbones, Mantis feels that there is no chance of success there, so in his mind, this may be his one and only shot. Standing in his way will be two groups: the current Campeonatos de Parejas holders, Fire & Soldier Ant, and the sworn enemies of The Order of the Neo Solar Temple, The Bruderschaft. In Philadelphia, The Colony’s championship reign got off to a rough start again F.I.S.T., who took the first fall in the title contest before losing the next two. They will attempt to become only the second team in Chikara history to successfully defend the belt more than three times, but they’ll have to go through a man who was one-half of the first team to do so: Delirious, tag partner to UltraMantis. Delirious, still under Mantis’ control despite losing the Eye of Tyr, has been a force since joining with UMB. Showing no signs of disloyalty, Delirious has proved to be UMB’s greatest chance at the ultimate glory he finals is rightfully his. But, with the Bruderschaft’s presence still flooding into every area of Chikara, they could take action in against UMB here, perhaps costing him his sought-after grandeur.

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The first team announced for a huge Elimination Match is the dastardly duo The Badd Boyz. There’s no telling who could be added to oppose them, but it’s doubtful that a team in the match will have as much to lose as they do. Stemming from victories over The Colony at Man Makes Plans, and God Laughs and Lince Dorado and Helios at Throwing Life’s Instructions Away, The Badds head into the match with two points. They must win the match to receive their third point, but that’s easier said than done in an Elimination contest. Even if they manage to avoid elimination early, because of the nature of the rules, they could have to face a two-point team during for the final elimination. Luckily, The Badds are a tricky sort. They’ll use any methods imaginable to put down their opponents, win their third point, and challenge for the tag titles. Be it stomps, slams, stomps, chops, stomps, or stomps, The Badd Boyz can get the job dun.

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Remember Friday, when Deebo knocks Red into next week with an uppercut? It’ll be like that, but with a boot and a three count.

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After dismantling The Osirian Portal, Daizee Haze and Sara Del Rey have set their sights of Hallowicked & Frightmare, Incoherence. After Haze and Del Rey felt that former Director of Fun Chikarason was ignoring them, they signed up for the Bruderschaft to take on the best competition possible. After the events of their January match against The Portal, it appears that they have still yet to earn the respect that they’re desperately searching for. It will be a much taller order to take down Incoherence, as Hallowicked is quite a bit taller than either Amasis or Ophidian, let alone Daizee and Sara. So the plan of attack will be to take down Frightmare, and if they manage to hit their Piledriver / German Suplex combination, it’ll be vorhänge for Incoherence.

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- Please leave any comments or questions you might have and I’ll do my best to respond with as many filthy German phrases as I can conjure. I’d like to do a contest or something cool like that, but I’m not sure how much interest there’d be. Let you voice be heard! Also, let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see in the column like fantasy booking, treasure hunts, wish-lists, secret handshakes, etc.

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