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This week’s CHIKARMY Insider features more updates for King of Trios and the February shows. But I was feeling a bit strange, so I’ve also attempted to casually include pictures of Disney characters linked to appropriate text in each individual write-up. I’m serious. Remember: almost every picture or link you click will appear in-page, so there’s no need to open a new window. Will I succeed in blowing your mind? Read and find out! Bring a friend! Ask grandpa for help. Tell your neighbor you’re a cyborg. Send your Congressman a basket of smaller baskets. Bathe in dreams! BELIEVE!

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Tim Donst shocked the Chikaraverse when he tapped out Player Dos with the Inverted Chikara Special, finally “realizing his destiny” and becoming Young Lions Cup champion. Now, another gamer has already stepped up to face “Kapitän Amerika” for his newly won championship: Dos’ Super Smash Brother, Player Uno. Uno earned the opportunity for tapping out Donst at Three-Fisted Tales with his innovative, arm-bending submission, the Joystick. Whether Uno & Dos have reconciled and reformed their tag team is irrelevant so long as Uno has dreams of singles gold. In his recent blog post, Uno had a message for Tim Donst, “I remember slapping the Joystick on you and watching you squirm and struggle before tapping out to me. According to the new Director of Fun Dieter VonSteigerwalt’s last blog, all previous YLC champs can no longer challenge for the Cup. My best bud Player Dos doesn’t get another bite at the apple. He can’t beat you for the Cup. But I can. I beat you in November, and nothing will stop me from twisting your arms up into the Joystick again.” Perhaps biting off more than he can chew, he would go on to say, “Someone needs to avenge Hydra. Someone needs to teach you a lesson for turning your backs on us. And someone needs to take that golden trophy away from you. I think I’m just the man for the job.” Player Uno is sure putting a lot of pressure on himself.  Perhaps too much. But no matter what happens in Reading, one thing’s for sure: a chubby dude is walking out with gold. And that’s…that’s pretty cool.

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It’s official: Dasher Hatfield is here to stay. In the middle of Chikara Podcast-A-Go-Go 199, Sugar Dunkerton revealed that Player Uno had recovered and restored the Dasher save file…permanently! The Throwbacks also revealed that they finally got their match to try and earn their third point for a title shot against either The Colony or The Neo Solar Temple. One tiny problem: they face “Die Führer der Bruderschaft” Claudio Castagnoli & Ares. They had some unkind words for Dash and Dunk in a Special BDK Update. The good news for The Throwbacks is that Switzerland doesn’t have much luck against American baseball players. Otto Hess, the only Swiss-born Major League Baseball player, had a career record of 70-90, but with 83 hit batsmen and 38 wild pitches, he seems to have been a dangerous man. It’s horrible news when it comes to basketball players: Thabo Sefolosha, the only Swiss player currently in the NBA, is known for his smothering three-point defense! I couldn’t make that up if I tried! It appears all signs point to a BDK victory, so The ‘Backs will need the fan’s support more than ever. Shoot, shoot-shoot and root, root-root for the Throwbacks!

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Two more teams have been added to the Elimination Tag Match. The first team is one that will be looking to get back to their winning ways: The Osirian Portal. After dropping a match to Daizee Haze and Sara Del Rey, many fans wondered what in the world went wrong. They were the more experienced and decorated team, yet they somehow couldn’t get the job done. Was it just an off night? Did they subconsciously pull their punches because they were facing a female team? Did their Egyptian god Osiris demand suckitude!? Amasis and Ophidian have a lot to prove in this match. The second team, Claudio Castagnoli & Ares, are in prime position to walk away with a title shot after the weekend. If they get past the Throwbacks in Reading, Pottsville presents them with a good chance at points two and three. They’ll have to get past the Badds, who hold two points, the aforementioned Osirian Portal and a mystery fourth team, but the Leaders of the Brotherhood have the strength and experience to rise to the occasion.

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This won’t be about feuds. This won’t be about wars. This is gonna be two of Chikara’s best strikers throwing everything they have at each other. With Eddie Kingston coming off yet another loss to archrival Claudio Castagnoli and Gran Akuma coming off a loss to the Colony in a tag team title match, both guys will be carrying a great deal of frustration into the contest. No one in Chikara kicks as hard as Akuma, but no one punches as hard as Kingston. They are both ruthless. Neither one factors personal feelings into any contest. Akuma is an undefeated 2-0 against Eddie Kingston in Chikara singles matches, but the last time they faced each other one-on-one was late 2005. Now over four years later, it’ll be Akuma’s lightning-fast kicks once again testing Kingston’s street style in an all-out battle!

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Mike Quackenbush and The Future is Now will be teaming in Chikara for the third time in three shows, and Pottsville will see their strangest and perhaps most hated foursome. Bruderschaft young lions Tim Donst, Lince Dorado, Pinkie Sanchez and the monstrous Tursas will oppose the technico team. Quack would like nothing more than to get his hands on Donst, the man who taught Pinkie Sanchez the Inverted Chikara Special. Jigsaw and Lince seem to have hated each other since day one of Jig’s insertion into TFIN, who he now captains after Lince’s traitorous departure. Jimmy feels that Sanchez injured him on purpose in training, leaving him permanently damaged in the process. He’d love a little retribution. I’ve heard that Helios doesn’t like Tursas because he’s really tall. So…there’s that. With all of this heat, I’m not sure the match will go a full eight seconds with chaos ensuing.

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Ares, Tursas, and Claudio Castagnoli will represent the Bruderschaft de Kreuzes, Chikara’s authoritative octuplet, in their quest to win King of Trios 2010. It’s very possible that the BDK could field more than one team, perhaps as many as three. But if this is the only Bruderschaft entrant, it is also the strongest unit they could possibly field. With Ares’ cunning leadership, Tursas’ mammoth size, and Claudio’s superhuman strength, you’d be hard-pressed to find a more formidable on-paper squad. They also boast the advantage of having five other members (that we know of) who would do anything to see glory to the BDK. But that also makes them a target to any person or persons who might not like the direction of the current regime. It’ll take a small army to defeat the fanatical faction, but even that may not be enough. Or have you not seen the end to Three-Fisted Tales?

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Last year, The Future is Now made it all the way to the Night 3 quarterfinals before falling to eventual the eventual winners F.I.S.T. in the semifinals. Cut to a year later, with more experience, more cohesiveness, and a new leader in Jigsaw. They may not be the favorite, but no one can doubt the fighting spirit of TFIN. Both Jigsaw and Equinox are coming off injuries, and Helios was the guy who got pinned in the loss to F.I.S.T., so it’s an uphill climb. But the biggest question is whether this group, who are at war with the dangerous Bruderschaft, will be at 100% come April.

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- From Chikara’s twitter: “The snow has slowed us down, but “A Touch of Class” will make it to DVD, with an official release planned for Tuesday, Feb. 16th!”

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- Please leave any comments or questions you might have and I’ll do my best to respond with as many filthy German phrases as I can conjure. I’d like to do a contest or something cool like that, but I’m not sure how much interest there’d be. Let you voice be heard! Also, let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see in the column like fantasy booking, treasure hunts, wish-lists, secret handshakes, etc.

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