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At “Chikarasaurus Rex: King of Show”, it was announced that Smart Mark Video would have the DVD up for sale TOMORROW! If you were going to buy the DVD anyway, this is an opportunity to go into the show spoiler-free. While I am particularly proud of this edition of my column, I’d rather you buy it without spoilers if that is what you wish. Just a friendly heads up. Click the cover below to purchase the show!

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This edition of CHIKARMY Insider covers last night’s Chikara show “Chikarasaurus Rex: King of Show”, which has been confirmed as the biggest show in the history of the company. Among other exciting moments: two huge six-man tags featuring Chikara Pro talent taking on the stars of Dragon Gate, the reemergence of a certain cyborg long thought to be a figment of imagination, the announcement of the American and Chikara debut of a wrestling legend, and F.I.S.T. simultaneously kicks a member out and welcomes a new member to the family. Big thanks got to various Twitter users and Chikara101 members for little snippets of information and for a few pictures, but the biggest thanks goes to Jerome Cusson. He texted in the live results to me and even called me after the show with more info. What a guy! This event will be talked about for a very long time to come, that’s not the only thing you’ll get in this column. As a nice bonus, I’ve listed my TOP TEN Chikara vs. Dragon Gate Dream Matches for your viewing pleasure. 3…2…1…MAKE COLUMN GO NOW! *presses button*

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Chikarasaurus Rex: King of Show

July 25, 2010 ~ Philadelphia, PA

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1. Eight-Man Tag: The BDK (Donst/Sanchez/Dorado/Tursas) d. Frightmare & The Colony (14:31). Pinkie Sanchez pins Frightmare with the Burning Snicklefritz. Young Lions Cup VIII preview anyone? After the match, the lights begin to flicker and…Vökoder appears! OH MY. Pinkie has been complaining the last few months that Chikara fans are out of touch with reality, believing in robots and ants from the future. So the appearance of Vökoder caused the psycho Sanchez to lose his mind as the rest of the Bruderschaft stared in shock.

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2. Chikara vs. DG #1: Shingo Takagi d. Jimmy “Equinox” Olsen (10:02). Jimmy Jam took a nasty bump off of a dive and may have hurt his shoulder. Shingo killed him with the Pumping Bomber for the victory. Said to be a good match.

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3. Dream Women’s Tag: Sara Del Rey & Daizee Haze d. Amazing Kong & Raisha Saeed (11:31). Haze gets the win for her team thanks to a German Suplex on Kong. That’s insane. Apparently it was ****ing Bridging German Suplex, too. That Daizee delivered. TO KONG. That’s like balancing your wallet on a matchstick! That’s like a bamboo stick flipping a panda! That’s like…okay I’ll stop. Seriously, I can’t wait to see this.

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4. Chikara vs. DG #2: CIMA, Super Shenlong, & Masaaki Mochizuki d. F.I.S.T. (15:17). The so-called Friends In Similar Tights are all wearing different outfits. So either there’s a break-up on the horizon…..or F.I.D.O. has risen! CIMA pins Gran Akuma with Meteora in the best match so far. Afterwards, Johnny Gargano shows up. There’s a discussion and…Icarus pedigrees Gran Akuma! GRAN AKUMA IS OUT OF F.I.S.T.! They take off his gauntlets and give them to Gargano. All three men pose together! WOW! As Akuma rose from the Pedigree, the fans chanted his name and really got behind him.

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5. Grudge Six-Man Tag: Drake Younger & The Osirian Portal d. The UnStable (13:57). Younger is wearing Osirian Portal tights, so I guess “Drake’s On A Plane” is officially a team…or maybe it’s just a fancy one-off. Colin Delaney is wearing a tie for some reason. Younger took a Tombstone on the ringsteps from STIGMA. Vin ended up in a garbage can. The Osirian Portal get the victory after the Osirian Sacrament on STIGMA. After the match, Younger danced with Amasis & Ophidian! Said to be an insane brawl and a really fun match.

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6. Grudge Tag Match: Claudio Castagnoli & Ares d. Eddie Kingston & Tommy Dreamer (15:24). Derek Sabato is out as the referee…that’s not good. Claudio’s Very European Mohawk is apparently ridiculous-looking. Finish comes when Claudio hits a release Ricola Bomb on Dreamer for the dubya. Lots of slow counts from Sabato in this one. There was an insane amount of heat, but it was not a great match. Dreamer unsurprisingly got a lot of heat but he can’t really go anymore. BDK goes undefeated on the weekend.

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7. Chikara vs. DG #3: Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw, & Hallowicked d. WORLD-1 (16:53). Quackenbush pins Doi with the Quackendriver II in a really awesome match and may be the best of the entire show! The finishing sequence was said to be insane. Whether this leads to a future title shot for Quack in DGUSA against Hulk or Dragon Gate against Yoshino remains to be seen.

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Various Degrees of Awesomeness:

- Jacob Hammermeier was wearing a neck brace thanks to Kingston’s Backfist to the Future and Dreamer’s DVD back at Aniversario Elf. The bad news: it doesn’t cover his mouth.

- Eddie Kingston came out to induct Tommy Dreamer into the Arena Hall of Fame. Classy speech from Dreamer…and he didn’t cry!

- UltraMantis Black stated on his Twitter that he would be coming to “C-Rex”…and that he wouldn’t be alone. He was flanked at his merch table and the Commentation Station by two hooded figures. Couple that with the return of Vökoder and it appears that The Neo Solar Temple may be rising from the ashes.

- The legendary Manami Toyota will be making her American debut in Chikara Pro on September 18th in Baltimore, MD and September 19th in Brooklyn, NY! Word right now is that she will be hand picking her opponents for both nights. This is a HUGE honor, and anybody saying, “Well it doesn’t raise Chikara’s profile…” needs to be shot in the face with a Nerfzooka. Do those exist?

- The announcement that “Chikarasaurus Rex: King of Show“ would be up for sale TOMORROW at Smart Mark Video still has me in shock. According to LFC on the Chikara101 boards, Chikara “specially recruited a dedicated video editor to work through the night, and he is already capturing the footage from tonight’s show to start cutting the matches.”

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Overall Thoughts

This event can only be viewed as an unmitigated, smashing, rousing achievement for Chikara Pro. Over 750 fans were in attendance to witness a really good show with some amazing moments: the return of Vökoder and three awesome-sounding six-man tags are just the tip of the iceberg on the DVD. While I haven’t heard that any specific matches are match of the year candidates or anything, every match has received compliments in some way or another, especially the Main Event. Dreamer/Kingston vs. Claudio/Ares was, as expect, not so great, but everything else is getting high marks. I will be buying this first thing tomorrow morning, and I’d suggest the rest of you nerds do the same.

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It was a big night for Chikara wrestlers at EVOLVE 4: Danielson vs. Fish on July 23 in Union City, NJ as the spectacular event saw several of the company’s finest come out on top. Despite Hallowicked & Jigsaw being a less-than-familiar tag team with one another, they still managed to beat Aeroform is a crazy match. Ricochet AKA Helios was involved in a 4-Way Match, but he was uninvolved with the finish. Brodie Lee fought Jon Moxley to a Double DQ with fans already clamoring for a rematch. The Osirian Portal fell to former Chikara roster members Cheech & Cloudy in a fun tag match. But the big winner was “The Kentucky Gentlemen” Chuck Taylor who beat the current Win Leader Jimmy Jacobs in a great match to claim that title as well as that of Longest Winning Streak in EVOLVE.

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DGUSA’s Philly return PPV, Enter the Dragon 2010, is one that Chikara fans will not want to miss. While Lince Dorado wrestled Super Shenlong to a ten minute draw on the Bonus Card, Chuck Taylor once again made a name for himself by winning a 4-Way Match that many called the show-stealing match of the pay-per-view. Taylor pinned longtime rival Ricochet with the Omega Driver for the victory. He placed himself at the head of the line to join the International WARRIORS with the victory. Seriously, when CIMA asked on Twitter who he thought would be a good fit for his International WARRIORS, I tweeted him Taylor. So…you’re welcome Chuck. YOU’RE WELCOME. Also of note was Brodie Lee, who did not have a match but intruded several times on other people’s contests, destroying everything in sight like a Godzilla villain. The PPV Main Event was an Elimination Match between Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw Hallowicked & Masato Yoshino against the KAMIKAZE USA team of YAMATO, Jon Moxley, Gran Akuma & Akira Tozawa. This was original set to end the feud between Chikara Pro and KAMIKAZE USA, but due to the adding of Bryan Danielson to face SHINGO, this contest would simply fan the flames of war. Hallowicked was eliminated first via YAMATO and his devastating Gallaria piledriver. Moxley drilled Jigsaw with a chair and earned a disqualification. Jimmy Jacobs ran him off. YAMATO eliminated Jigsaw with easy after the chair shot, leaving Quackenbush and Yoshino to fight off YAMA, Akuma & Tozawa. Quackenbush eliminated Gran Akuma to even the odds. The finish saw a double submission as Quack tapped Tozawa with The Chikara Special and Yoshino tapped YAMATO with Sol Naciente! Chikara Sekigun and Masato Yoshino got a huge victory and the momentum going into the inevitable feud-ending future match!

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There are many things to mull over when compiling a list of dreams matches. It would be easy to just put the best Dragon Gate has to offer against the stars of Chikara Pro and call it a “Dream Match”. However, with the diverse characters of Chikara and the rich history in DG, there is more to be considered than just which two guys might have the best possible match. A common gripe I have with the indy scene at large is that too often wrestling bookers are concerned with creating high drama with forty minutes slugfests between two over but very flawed performers. Sometimes, I get more joy out of a well-conceived squash match than these so called “epic contests”. Now, I know that the fact that ROH owes Dragon Gate money makes any wrestler on their roster off-limits, but we’ll just pretend Ring of Honor didn’t stiff DG out of some dough. Just for this piece. With that in mind, here’s my list of the TOP TEN Chikara vs. Dragon Gate Dream Matches.

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NOTE: These matches have not been announced, nor are they at present scheduled to take place. I made these banners myself to lend authenticity to the piece and, well…for giggles. I even left the damn watermark so that no one would get confused…though I imagine some people still will…

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Honorable Mentions

- Jigsaw vs. Naoki Tanisaki – Outside of them both sharing the same devastating finisher, I couldn’t think of many other good reasons to pair these two excellent workers together. They are both criminally underrated performers in the shadows of more popular grapplers. Both have some nasty strikes in their arsenals, Jig with his superkicks and Naoki with his various knee strikes. With Jigsaw in DGUSA, this actually could happen someday…but Tanisaki would have to get booked there first. Ya here me, Gabe?

- Cyber Kong vs. Lince Dorado – While both performers have suffered serious head injuries in the past, comparisons between them stop there. Kong is a hulking brute who could run through the diminutive Dorado like a knife through warm water. But Cyber works well with smaller guys, so I imagine the beating would be short, but ever so sweet.

- Jagged & Shane Matthews vs. The Florida Express – 3.0 are comedy geniuses, and they would be the perfect fit in a match against Jackson and Johnson Florida, who haven’t faced quality comedic competition in a very long time. Just the looks on 3.0’s faces as Jackson stumbles to the ring on his gimp knee might be worth the price of admission.

- DEEP DRUNKERS vs. The UnStable – A common theme I had when conceiving these contests was pairing top heels with top heels and the faces against one another. I don’t know why, but the idea of the perpetually hammered Kenichiro Arai, an unhinged Kzy, and…Yasushi Kanda…teaming against Vin Gerard, Colin Delaney, & STIGMA brought a smile to my face.

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10

This was just a no brainer. Amasis, a former holder of the Campeonatos de Parejas with Osirian Portal stablemate Ophidian, has a penchant for funky dance moves. He started his career as a heel but, as time wore on, fans got tired of feeling like they had to boo they guy and just started cheer him on. BxB Hulk, the current Open the Freedom Gate champion in DGUSA, is the fan-favorite in his home promotion, and like Amasis, he has an affinity for getting down with his not-so-bad self. A dance contest between the two would be epic, and the winner would simply be whoever’s backyard they were in. It’s a classic styles clash between a choreographed pop dancer and a freestyle rhythmic rumpshaker. Also, they’d probably find time to wrestle. Both are high-flyers, and Amasis even uses a retro Hulk move that BxB rarely ever busts out anymore. “The Funky Pharaoh” calls it the Twist of Funk while Hulk calls the BxB Smash. A stipulation where the winner of a dance contest between the two got to name the move permanently would be beyond awesome. It’d be shmawsome.

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9

Tim Donst may be the best heel in Chikara Pro today. At the ripe age of 24, the current Young Lions Cup holder has already earned a reputation for his smart, lengthy promos and his solid in-ring work. He also has a nasty side, known for using various cheating methods such as using ropes for leverage during pins and working the nipples of his opponents. His perfect foil would be a man not unlike himself, known for his ruthless personality and questionable tactics in the ring. That man is Gamma, a former Twin Gate, Triangle Gate, & Brave Gate champion in Dragon Gate. Gamma utilizes his trusty kendo stick to not only smack you across the head, but he’s just as likely to catch you where the sun don’t shine, too. Like Donst, Gamma is a man who seems to revel in his lack of scruples. Unlike Donst, people have gotten behind the veteran Gamma after years of intense hatred. He has made up with longtime nemesis CIMA and they now team as Osaka06 to the delight of the fans in Dragon Gate. Donst may think he’d have the upperhand against Gamma, but the first time Gamma gargled water and sprayed him with it like a devious fountain…he’d know forever the lengths that a truly disgusting guy would go and whether or not he could rise to his level.

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8

Incoherence is one of Chikara’s best-known and well-liked tag teams. Hallowicked, a Chikara veteran and former Campeon de Parejas, was still teaming with Delirious when he first started bringing Frightmare to the ring, usually with a steel chain wrapped around him to keep him in check. After Delirious was torn away from the trio, ‘Wicked started teaming with his young protégé, keeping the Incoherence name and attitude. Both would be elevated in stature by leaps and bounds over the next few months, as Frightmare would be declared the 2009 Rookie of the Year in all of professional wrestling  and Hallowicked would start working in EVOLVE and Dragon Gate USA. Similarly, Super Shisa and Shisa BOY also share the same relationship as master and charge. While Super Shisa is a former Triangle Gate and Brave Gate champion, Shisa BOY has yet to have his big break out in Dragon Gate. But this match isn’t about accolades and accomplishments; it’s about talent. From a pure lucha standpoint, The Shisas are two of the best and most innovative on the DG roster. Incoherence had also shown to be two of Chikara’s best with it comes to innovative flips and death-defying dives. But these four guys in the ring together and I’m betting they crap out some magic. There’s gotta be a better way to say that, but I’m drawing a blank. The…the match would rule. There.

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7

Even the crankiest, most narcissistic independent wrestling fan has to see some upside in a match between the jabbering, excitable veteran know as Delirious and the…jabbering, excitable young wrestler Akira Tozawa. Delirious was Hallowicked’s partner when the two won the Campeonatos de Parejas back in 2007, but he has since joined The Neo Solar Temple and now the Bruderschaft de Kreuzes. The current Delirious is a mind-wiped drone…and no fun. I loved the laughing, chatty Delirious when he was wearing the trademark green mask, and that’s the Delirious you’d want to face Tozawa, a former Triangle Gate champion and a future main eventer in Dragon Gate. Even as a teenager, Tozawa rose above his fellow students with his loud mouth and vibrant personality. Tozawa will go on long rants about…I don’t know. I don’t speak Japanese. But he’s definitely prone to tirades, with his mouth constantly trying to cash checks his ass can rarely cash. But against Delirious, he may find someone just as loud and crazy as he is.

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6

It doesn’t take that many neurons to realize that teams like Incoherence, QuackenSaw, The Osirian Portal, and The Colony would turn out better matches against the team of Naruki Doi & Masato Yoshino. Doi, a former Dream Gate champion and the first man in Dragon Gate history to hold every major company title, is joined at the hip with heterosexual life partner Yoshino, the current Dream Gate champion and the most decorated champion the Dragon Gate history. They have looked like they were breaking up many times over the years, but the two have weather storms and can lay claim to being the best tag team in DG history and perhaps in all of wrestling. They have a lot in common, a big one being that they both come from baseball backgrounds. Hell, Doi started his DG career as under a baseball gimmick as Second Doi. Enter Dasher Hatfield & Sugar Dunkerton: The Throwbacks. After a match in Chikara back at Hiding in Plain Sight that is now simply known as “The Baseball Game”, it became clear that Chikara knew how to use sports in a variety of comedic ways. Just imagine Yoshino, the fastest man in wrestling, having a footrace around the baseball diamond-esque ring with Dasher. Imagine Dunkerton trying to baffle Doi with some slick basketball moves. This is the type of hilarious imagery that lead to this match coming to fruition on this list. Speed Muscle has proved time and time again that they can have amazing matches with just about anybody. But to pull off a comedy match outside of Japan would be a new type of challenge, one that, knowing them, they’d rise to the occasion for.

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5

I’m sure a lot of people will be baffled by this pairing, as Gran Akuma makes more sense in a discussion about the stiff kicks and nasty head drops of Masaaki Mochizuki, a former Dream Gate, Twin Gate, & Triangle Gate champion. I honestly found that pairing a little too obvious, and I had plans for Akuma elsewhere. In his twenty years in the wrestling business, Mochizuki has faced his fair share of hard-kicking opponents. I felt like the concept of Mochi versus a young striker is being done to death, and Masaaki is usually able to enforce his will upon them given time. Even at age forty, he is taking on all comers and seems to be in the best condition of his life. His many kicks aren’t just inventive. They may be the hardest and nastiest kicks in wrestling. He is as legit as you can get in modern wrestling, so the idea of putting him in the ring with someone not in his own mold intrigued me. It hit me like a Yakuza Kick…”Big Rig” Brodie Lee, a Chikara mainstay known for his devastating Big Boot and intimidating size. He would present Mochi with all kinds of problems: he’s at last half a foot taller, a hundred pounds heavier, and has the length to keep out of Masaaki’s kick range while still inflicting significant damage. Of all the guys in Chikara Pro, Brodie would provide literally and figuratively the biggest challenge for Mochizuki. It would be difficult for Mochizuki to even get his leg high enough to fire off a headkick, but I’m sure the crafty veteran would find a way.

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4

It would be a battle of the two true, undisputed aces of their home promotions. It would be a war between two of the top athletes in wrestling today. Claudio Castagnoli and CIMA have a helluva lot in common: both are the unrivaled top guys in their companies, both guys are known for their high-impact, innovative offense, both wowed WWE officials in tryout matches on Smackdown!, and both are among the most decorated members of their respective rosters. CIMA is Dragon Gate’s only two-time Dream Gate champion and the only man in company history to have held absolutely every active title at one point or another. Castagnoli has won almost everything there is to win in Chikara Pro: 2005 & 2006 Tag World Grand Prix, 2007 Torneo Cibernetico, 2010 King of Trios and the Campeonatos de Parejas…twice. As far as I know, they have only been in the same ring once: Claudio, alongside Austin Aries, Delirious, & Rocky Romero faced CIMA and members of Typhoon at All-Star Extravaganza III for Ring of Honor back in early 2007. Since then, both wrestlers have grown to become ever greater wrestlers, and hopefully one day they will face off again in a Chikara ring.

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3

Their rivalry stems from one simple truth: YAMATO doesn’t respect Mike Quackenbush and he doesn’t respect Chikara Pro. At the very first Dragon Gate USA show, Quack made a challenge to any Dragon Gate wrestler to take on any Chikara Pro wrestler and see who the better man was. YAMATO emerged and claimed not to know who the hell “Lightning” Mike was and proceeded to low-blow him. YAMATO enlisted the help of his own student Gran Akuma, and at DGUSA’s second show, Quack teamed with Jigsaw to gain a measure of revenge against YAMATO & Akuma. Soon after this, YAMATO’s Dragon Gate faction went international and KAMIKAZE USA was born. Now, the fight was between two entire stables of wrestlers as YAMATO, Akuma, Akira Tozawa, Jon Moxley and Shingo Takagi began attacking Quackenbush, Jigsaw, and the rest of the Chikara wrestlers. At the latest DGUSA event, Enter the Dragon 2010, Quack got a measure of revenge by teaming with Masato Yoshino & his Chikara brood to defeat YAMATO and KAMIKAZE USA in Main Event Elimination Match. Naturally, a singles showdown between the two looms. Both men are known for their cunning ingenuity in the ring, and in a battle of not only physicality but their very scruples, they’ll need to be firing on all cylinders to best the other man.

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2

This is another fantasy match-up where the accolades of the competitors speak for themselves. The trio of Icarus, Gran Akuma & Chuck Taylor has been through a lot as a trio. Last year, they ended their three year war against The Colony in one of the biggest matches in Chikara history. They beat The Death Match Kings, The F1rst Family, The Future Is Now and Team Uppercut in winning the 2009 King of Trios tournament. Akuma and Icarus won the 2005 and 2006 Torneo Cibernetico matches respectively and then teamed together to win the Campeonatos de Parejas, holding them for longer than any other team thus far. Likewise, the team of Dragon Kid, Ryo Saito, & Genki Horiguchi is Dragon Gate’s most decorated triumvirate. They are the only threesome to win the Open the Triangle Gate titles more than twice, and with them recently reunited in the WARRIORS, they could earn even more. But the major reason that these men are known together is simple: Ring of Honor. 2006. Supercard of Honor. Against the Blood Generation, Do FIXER inspired the raucous crowd and the six men put on a performance that not only won Match of the Year in 2006, not only earned a 5-Star rating from Dave Meltzer, but helped popularize and broaden the reach of a company for years to come. They are the two finest trios in their companies…and thanks to Johnny Gargano, this match is never gonna happen. Gargano…YOU’RE ON NOTICE.

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1

This was the match that not only inspired this list but the very intellectual fabric behind it. As you may have noticed, I’m not content to just throw people in the ring together. I want to see the most decorated trio face the most decorated trio, the best athlete face the best athlete and the amateur baseball players face the old timey ball chuckers. Yeah, I’m pretty deep. This battle of hard-hitting heavyweights was inspired by one specifically shared trait between Shingo Takagi, a former Open the Dream Gate champion and leader of the KAMIKAZE faction, and “The Last of a Dying Breed” Eddie Kingston. That trait is ego. Shingo and Eddie are both their worst own enemies. Late in 2009, Shingo injured his knee and it became a focal point for the attacks of his opponents. The situation was exacerbated by Takagi’s repeated pounding of his own knee, as if he were baiting the challenger to break him. While Shingo’s ego is fueled by physical scars, Kingston’s comes from emotional ones. Eddie feels that he always misses out on the big matches in Chikara, that he’s always playing catch-up with the guys in the masks. He’s felt some level of dejection his entire life, and he uses the pent-up aggression to unleash a flurry of violence on his adversaries. Sometimes, this pride leads to disappointing losses, but more often than not, it acts as jet fuel for their fighting spirit and pushes them to succeed. So when it’s laid out like this, one wonders what would happen if they were to stand across the ring from one another. Two tireless warriors, both drunk on rage…ten feet apart. That’s a potential nuclear holocaust of lariats and arrogance…and that’s why it’s number one.

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- Please leave any comments or questions you might have and I’ll do my best to respond with as much colloquial Irish gossip as I can conjure. I’d like to do a contest or something cool like that, but I’m not sure how much interest there’d be. Let you voice be heard! Also, let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see in the column, like fantasy booking, treasure hunts, wish-lists, secret handshakes, etc.

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Aniversario Zehn

May 22, 2010 ~ Tyngsboro, MA

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1. Green Ant vs. Amasis – **

Amasis does a touchdown dance with a football before entering the ring, is inside a sports complex…so this is going to be a very weird-looking show. Green Ant and Amasis trade holds and Amasis tricks Green Ant into doing a little dance. They trade some pinfall attempts but Amasis hits a nice powerslam for two. Amasis hits a suplex and continues to ground Green Ant, though the elastic ant continues to find ways to get quick pinfall attempts. A shoulder tackle gets “The Funky Pharaoh” two, as does a butterfly suplex. Green Ant rolls back into an ankle lock, but Amasis breaks it up with a pin attempt. Amasis tosses Green Ant on the outside and it causes Green Ant to hit is head awkwardly on the top turnbuckle…but he comes back in and repeatedly slams his own head into the turnbuckle showing that it is made of dolomite baby! Seriously, if this isn’t leading to him eventually becoming Bull Ant, I don’t get it. Green Ant starts throwing headbutts and hits a big splash. 1…2…Amasis kicks out. Green Ant hits a wrist-clutch marching Samoan drop and locks in the Texas Cloverleaf! Amasis tries to crawl away but Green Ant pulls him back. He finally makes it to the ropes and he and Green Ant trade strikes. Amasis goes off the ropes and Green Ant gets a flash pin attempt. 1…2…Amasis kicks out. Green Ant runs the ropes, but Amasis hits a run behind roaring elbow! 1…2…3! Amasis beats Green Ant in a perfectly fine opening match.

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2. The Throwbacks vs. Tursas & Daizee Haze – **1/4

Backstage before the match, Sugar Dunkerton says he wants to melt Daizee’s icy heart with his hot chocolate. Dasher is furious and leaves. Sugar says forget that and skis away. Tursas starts by tossing Sugar across the ring and tagging in Daizee. Sugar tells her she’s fine and Dasher continues to find this counterproductive. Sugar gives Daizee his basketball and she fires it into his chest claiming it to be a check ball. Sugar went for a hug and Haze turned it into a headlock. Sugar keeps putting her in submissions and asking her out. Everybody calls timeout. Time in and he continues to court Mrs. Haze. Tursas tags in and Sugar claims Tursas is jealous. The crowd agrees. Tursas destroys Dunkerton with a shoulder tackle, but Sugar and Dasher form one giant person to combat him. Sugar throws blows from up top but Daizee clips Dasher’s knee allowing Tursas to hit a frickin’ standing doomsday device and Daizee to hit a dropkick to Hatfield. The Bruderschaft duo beat down Sugar in brutal fashion, but he eventually leapfrogs Daizee and makes a tag to Dasher who throws some nice shots to the face of Tursas. The ‘Backs hit twin dropkicks to Tursas, but Sugar is distracted by Daizee, allowing Tursas to crush Dasher with a crossbody for three. Daizee & Tursas get the win in a really funny match. The action here wasn’t great, but Sugar is just some much fun that he elevates every match he’s in. There are a lot of funny lines that Sugar spouts during this, almost like an amusing commentary track to a good film.

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3. Ophidian vs. STIGMA – **3/4

This is Ophidian’s first match since winning the Rey de Voladores at King of Trios. STIGMA starts the match by planting Ophidian on the canvas with an elbow shot. Both men trade shots and Ophidian goes for the Death Grip. STIGMA turns it into a Tombstone, but Ophidian wiggles free. STIGMA continues to throw some sick elbows to ground Ophidian, but he counters with some nice lucha moves.  STIGMA counters a back rolling headscissors into a nice backbreaker. Ophidian gets a few lucha roll ups before drilling STIG with a roundhouse kick. He goes for a crucifix bomb but STIGMA turns it into an armdrag that sends Ophidian to the floor. STIGMA goes to dive, but Ophidian rolls back & STIGMA is now outside, so Ophidian hits a corkscrew plancha to the big man! Back inside, Ophidian looks for flying knees but STIGMA counters into knees of his own! STIG continues to beat down Ophidian, countering a headscissors by tossing Ophidian chest first onto the apron. He crawls back in and STIGMA hits a dropkick for two. STIGMA goes for the Tombstone yet again, but Ophidian counters with some awesome knees. He destroys STIGMA with a reverse roundhouse kick and a fisherman’s buster that drops both men. Ophidian runs to STIG in the corner and hits a handstand into a monkey flip. 1…2…STIGMA kicks out. Ophidian misses the double knees again and STIGMA hits a deadlift release German suplex! Face Wash! 1…2…Ophidian kicks out. STIGMA goes for the Tombstone again, but Ophidian turns it into victory roll. 1…2…STIGMA kicks out! Ophidian ends up on the apron and he hits a modified Jesus Walks for another two. STIGMA counters a corner charge with another German and then hits That Japanese Move, his finisher from the Shane Storm days! 1…2…3! STIGMA picks up the victory in an upset considering Ophidian just won the RVD tourney. Really nice match that suffers slightly due to the typical STIGMA sloppiness, though it wasn’t so bad that it ruined anything completely.

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4. Grudge Match #1: Equinox & Helios vs. Tim Donst & Lince Dorado – ***1/4

Tim Donst cuts another really good promo backstage and the BDK young lions take forever to start the match. Helios and Lince start things off, but Lince quickly bails and allows Donst to get the drop on Helios, but Donst gets embarrassed lucha-style. Jimmy “Equinox” Olsen and Dorado enter, and Jimmy hammers away at Lince. Donst runs in and hits a Lince-assisted Complete Shot and Dorado hits a standing moonsault. 1…2…Jimmy kicks out. Donst & Dorado beat up Equinox with stomps and chops, forcing him to make the BDK symbol with his hands. Donst hits a belly-to-belly from the apron on Donst for two. They continue the onslaught until Equinox slips outside and Helios gets in. He takes out everybody and drops Lince with a rolling dragonrana! 1…2…Lince kicks out. Helios hits the Tiger Flip and lands a sick flip dive over the turnbuckles on Donst! Jimmy hits Dorado with a missile dropkick and a sick superkick! 1…2…Lince kicks out! Jimmy is tripped by Lince into sitting on the second rope in the corner and Dorado hits a double stomp on Jimmy! 1…2…Helios breaks it up. Helios jumps to Lince’s shoulders, Donst goes up top and Lince pushes Helios so he’s standing on Dorado’s shoulders! SKY HIGH DOOMSDAY DEVICE! 1…2…HELIOS KICKS OUT! Donst applies the Inverted Chikara Special! Out on the floor, ‘Nox drills Lince with a Knockout Punch and breaks up Donst’s submission with a spike baby rana. Jimmy applies the Chikara Special! Donst fights it off and just as Jimmy is about to reapply the hold, Lince breaks it up with an abisegiri. Helios and Lince end up on the top rope and Helios gets the advantage. AVALANCHE DOUBLE KNEES! Helios goes back to the top rope…Shooting Star Press! 1…2…3! The Future is Now get their first point against Donst and Dorado. This started okay and worked into a good heat segment. The ending made this match. Man, these guys were all over the place, and I mean that in a good way. A few stumbles aside, this was tight.

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5. Grudge Match #2: Fire Ant vs. Pinkie Sanchez – **3/4

Sanchez cuts another feeble, aimless promo. This is getting silly; the rambling fool needs to be muffled. Fire Ant runs out like a house of hot things. Papagiorgio tells Pinkie to take a shower and just berates him for getting in his face. Bell rings and Fire Ant immediately attacks Pinkie, hitting a running corner enzuigiri and a running corner dropkick sending Sanchez outside. Fire Ant hits a no-hands flip dive onto Pinkie on the floor! Pinkie gets rolled back inside and manages to hit a backbreaker and running knees to the back of Fire Ant. Pinkie continues to target the back of Fire Ant, stunting every opportunity Fire Ant gets to mount a comeback. Pinkie’s continual taunting of the crowd gets him a beating but never a sustained one. Finally, Fire Ant starts throwing roundhouse kicks like a maniac and drills Sanchez with a twisting brainbuster. 1…2…Sanchez kicks out. Fire Ant and Pinkie end up out on the apron with Fire Ant looking to give Pinkie an apron Beach Break, but Sanchez fights out and hits a sloppy apron DDT to Fire Ant. 1…2…Fire Ant kicks out. Sanchez tries to lock in the Inverted Chikara Special, but Fire Ant turns it into a roll up for two. Fire Ant destroys Pinkie with Burning Down the House and heads north for Heat of the Moment. He connects! 1…2…Sanchez kicks out. Sanchez hammers away at Fire Ants back and calls for the Burning Snicklefritz but Fire Ant counters into a Burning Hammer. Pinkie wiggles free though, and he armdrags Fire Ant to the mat and does a really poor job of locking on the Inverted Chikara Special. Fire Ant goes limp and Papagiorgio is forced to call for the bell. Pink Ant wins a big match against the leader of the Colony. Like Ophidian/STIGMA, this was clearly a match between two wrestlers not on the same level. While Fire Ant looked extra sharp out there, Sanchez couldn’t connect with the crowd at all. He fumbled the finish, too. It was still a pretty good match, just a bit of a letdown.

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6. Grudge Match #3: Ares vs. UltraMantis Black – **1/2

UltraMantis cuts a great promo before the match stating he has no one and nothing…all the while, Crossbones is standing behind him looking dejected. Ares and Mantis stare each other down as the bell sounds, and Ares decides to bail to the back. He returns with Delirious dressed in white and being guided by a chain. Mantis is furious at this and he keeps trying to reach out to his former ally. Ares hits a hard clothesline and puts Mantis in the camel clutch, taunting Mantis by forcing him stare at Delirious. UltraMantis fires back with a series of armdrags as the two men brawl on the floor. Ares beats him down outside and looks for the Toblerone Driver but he gets backdropped on the artificial grass! UltraMantis beats him up around ringside and tosses Ares back inside, but Mantis gets caught with a dropkick while reentering. Ares hits a big chop on the corner and a nice suplex for two. Ares beats on Mantis in the corner closest to Delirious and hits hit swinging fall away suplex for another two. Mantis fights back with the help of the chanting crowd, but Ares hits the Blue Thunder Bomb. 1…2…Mantis kicks out. Ares is furious and gets handed something from Jakob Hammermeier at ringside. Ares blows into a tiny dog whistle and Delirious tosses Crossbones into the ringpost, dropping the big man. UltraMantis comes back with elbows and a full nelson bomb. 1…2…Ares kicks out. Crossbones is escorted out by a Chikara attendant and this would actually turn out to be Crossbones’ final appearance in Chikara, perhaps ever. Ares goes for Toblerone again, and once again Gavin thinks he’s going for the Praying Mantis Bomb. Ultramantis Black fights out and hits an electric chair drop. 1…2…Ares kicks out. Mantis looks for Cosmic Doom, but he’s distracted by Delirious, allowing Ares to get an O’Connor Roll with a fistful of tights. 1…2…3. Ares beats UltraMantis in an okay match made better by the outside shenanigans. The return of Delirious as a BDK member was well done, and both Ares & UltraMantis were better than usually in the match.

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7. 8-Man Main Event: Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw, & Incoherence vs. Vin Gerard, Colin Delaney, Chuck Taylor & Gran Akuma – ***1/2

Jigsaw and Vin Gerard start things off with Chuck Taylor jawing at his cousin to perform better. Jigsaw does the same series of roll ups twice in a row, and Jigsaw baits him into falling for it a third time. Jig and Quack double team Vin and Chuck enters. Quack tags in and starts bending and flipping Chuck all over the ring. He hits a slingshot dragonrana and the pin attempt is broken up by Gran Akuma. Akuma and Chuck double team Quack, but he disposes of them rather quickly. Hallowicked enters and take down Gran Akuma with Frightmare’s assistance. Gerard enters and targets Frightmare but Incoherence double teams him with their side slam / leg drop combo. 1…2…Gerard kicks out. Taylor and Quackenbush return, and Jig & Quack once again double team him. Akuma takes out Jig from behind and he starts getting worked over. Everybody takes turns beating him up, but Jigsaw catches Colin with a big clothesline and tags Quackenbush, who clears out Gerard. Chuck catches him with a dropkick. Frightmare dumps Taylor but gets caught with a running knee from Gerard. A follow up suplex gets Gerard two. Now it’s Frightmare who gets the business from the Rudo squad. Chuck accidentally refers to Vin as “Durling”, and Colin scolds him for this Deadpool-esque mistake. Frightmare dives out onto Colin, allowing Hallowicked to enter, who cleans the kitchen. He goes for Go 2 Sleep Hollow, but Chuck catches a leg, Akuma kicks said leg and Chuck applies the Cross Crab. Jigsaw breaks it up quickly, but the Rudos have found a third Tecnico to pounce on. The work over ‘Wicked’s knee, and Quack gets fed up with it so he just enters without a tag. Quack hits Akuma with a Swanton Bomb, Chuck hits Quack with Sole Food, Frightmare hits Chuck with a Standing SSP, Colin hits Frightmare with the Attitude Adjuster, and Jigsaw drills Colin and Gerard with sick superkicks. Bridging German Suplex from Jigsaw! 1…2…Akuma breaks it up. Quack and Jigsaw double team Akuma and Gerard with fancy lucha stuff. Jigsaw hits a frankensteiner and Quack comes off the top with double knees. 1…2…Chuck breaks up the pin. Akuma and Chuck hit their tombstone facebuster / cutter combo on Quack. 1…2…Quack kicks out. Quack dives out onto Chuck Taylor, Frightmare hits Akuma with his backflip doge into a neckbreaker, Colin hits his usual weak-looking punt kick and calls for the RKO. Hallowicked hits Colin with Go 2 Sleepy Hollow, Quack and Jig double team Colin with kicks, Jigsaw takes Colin out, Vin takes Quack out and dives out onto everybody! Taylor heads north but Hallowicked cuts him off and places Frightmare on his shoulders. Doomsday Ace Crusher! 1…2…Gerard breaks it up. Gerard hits Frightmare with the 2K1 Bomb but Hallowicked breaks up the pin. Akuma drives Hallowicked in the corner and Gerard uses ‘Wicked to climb on top. Quack & Jigsaw meet him there and drill him with an avalanche hip toss and Frightmare (barely) hits him with the Kneecolepsy! 1…2…3! Frightmare picks up the victory for his squad in another really good eight-man tag. This started brilliantly, with a lot of fast-paced interactions to get it going. However, the ending stretch felt kind of sloppy and rushed, so the mach couldn’t elevate to the level of some of the previous atomico matches. Still, it was the best match on the show.

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Overall - 6 / 10

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While I can’t say that I’ll watch this show again anytime soon, it did have its share of good times: TFIN/BDK and the Main Event were both really fun matches, and most everything was time not wasted. The show saw Delirious’s return as a member of the BDK, perhaps the last appearance of Crossbones, STIGMA pulling out the shining wizard for the first time in years and Sugar Dunkerton courting Daizee while she kicked the crap out of him. At two hours, it’s a fairly breezy show, which is good…any long, and you’d get too bored for words. I can only recommend this for the diehards out there (of which there is many) but if you find yourself in front of this show, you shouldn’t be terribly disappointed or anything. Like Aniversario Yin the year before, first night Anny shows just aren’t always winners.

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The All-Important M’s

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Match: Main Event. I know, you’re shocked the eight-man tag was the best match. Chikara is getting to be a company that can throw any eight guys from their roster in the ring and churn out something very enjoyable. While this was not one of the best of the year, the atomico was still fun enough to gain the top spot.

Move: That Doomsday Device where Helios was on Lince’s shoulders was un-freaking-believable. I called it a Sky High Doomsday Device because I don’t think there’s a name for it and it was the first damn thing I thought when I saw it. Just an awe-inspiring display of athleticism.

Moment: Sugar Dunkerton and his wooing of Daizee Haze. I can’t pick just one of his moments, and since I created this damn thing…I dun gotta. So there…every moment with Sugar Dunkerton wins Best Moment.

MVP: Dunkerton. While he wasn’t in even the third best match of the show, he was clearly elevating the match with his witty one-liners and conversations with people at ringside. He also cut the best promo on the show, so he gets two sets of hardware…fictional hardware, that is.

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Look! CHIKARMY Insider is back! Seriously…you’re staring at it right now. In this week’s edition, you get must-have info on three new Chikara DVDs, a potential break-up for one of Chikara’s best triumvirates, details on this year’s Cibernetico event, a sleek visual aid that updates this year’s Young Lions Cup VIII participants, a full rundown on Chikara’s monumental show next week, Chikarasaurus Rex: King of Show, featuring Dragon Gate stars such as CIMA, Naruki Doi, Masato Yoshino, and Dragon Kid! Tickets are selling like warm muffins, as Chikara has already stated that this will be the biggest event in Chikara history! HISTORY! So hop aboard your starship and set a course for The Awesome Nebula. Also, if you could swing by my house, that’d be great. My address is 427 [EDIT: Justin, don’t list your actual address, ya dingus]. Once again, that’s 427 [EDIT: Why would you type this twice?!]. WOOSH!

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New DVDs: Danielson Returns + The Best of 2006!

Wanna see Bryan Danielson’s return to the independents? Do you want to see him mangling goons and kicking in skulls in ways that would make Vince McMahon soil his “Oops, I Crapped My Pants”? Then pick up We Must Eat Michigan’s Brain, featuring Bryan Danielson vs. Eddie Kingston, Frightmare vs. Tim Donst for the Young Lions Cup, and a crazy Eight-Man Main Event, as well as Faded Scars and Lines, featuring Danielson taking on Donst, Kingston battling Delirious, and The Future Is Now challenging The Bruderschaft for the Campeonatos de Parejas in an epic 2 out of 3 Falls Match! Also released is Chikara: The Best of 2006. This is very different from the Big Vision title that came out previously, as it features many, many more matches, including Arik Cannon vs. Eddie Kingston, F.I.S.T. vs. The Kings of Wrestling, a match between Mike Quackenbush & Ares that predates the Chikara vs. BDK Wars, and seventeen other stellar contests with former Chikara stars like Blind Rage, Chris Hero, Mr. ZERO and Larry Sweeney.

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The Fall of F.I.S.T.?

There’s no question that the blogs between Chuck Taylor and Johnny Gargano have been hilariously catty. Seriously, they’re like bunkmates fighting over Army men…and it grows more and more apparent that somebody in F.I.S.T. is gonna get stuck with the Minesweepers. Since the verbal slapfight began, both Gran Akuma and Icarus have weighed in on the madness, and it looks like all the talk and innuendo will come to a head at “Chikarasaurus Rex: King of Show”. If you’re totally lost and want to catch-up, here’s the blogs in the order they occurred: [Taylor - Gargano - Taylor - Akuma - Icarus - Gargano]. Prepare to laugh yourself unconscious.

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Behold…The Dark Ciberknetico!

Chikara has announced the return of its annual manic multi-man match known as Torneo Cibernetico! This is the seventh year of the sixteen man contest that traditionally sees two sides of eight face off in an elimination-style contest, with the surviving members of the winning team battling it out until there is only one man left standing. Last year at Cibernetico Increible, the theme was “partner vs. partner”, and it was Carpenter Ant who emerged victorious, utilizing the Inverted CHIKARA Special in the first instance of any wrestler using the devastating submission. Of course, Carpenter Ant turned out to be Pinkie Sanchez in disguise, and he has not let the Chikara Tecnicos forget his shocking victory. This year, in the midst of the war between Chikara and the BDK, The Dark Ciberknetico will have more emotion and meaning than all the previous Cibernetico matches combined. For Chikara, this is about pride. For the Bruderschaft, this is about supremacy. If they can beat the Chikara faithful here, it may just be the disheartening blow that finally takes the wind out of the sails of Quack, Kingston and their tecnico brethren. On October 23rd in Easton, the battle lines will be drawn! The day after The Dark Ciberknetico, Hamden, CT will see the final New England card of 2010. Rendezvous at Big Gulch will take place Sunday, October 24th and, in the direct aftermath of Cibernetico, should be a humongous show.

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Young Lions Cup VIII

Entrants into the seventh Young Lions Cup tournament are coming fast and furious and the open spots are filling up quickly. Over nine different companies have announced representatives, three companies have announced participation but have not named reps, and six spots remain completely unassigned. In total, 24 wrestlers from 18 wrestling companies will be announced for the competition, which is shaping up to be the biggest and best YLC tourney ever! You can find a full list of all of the announced competitors below in a nice, neat format that I put together in that whole Photoshop thing.

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Mike Quackenbush is one helluva multitasker. While he continues to lead the CHIKARA Tecnicos in their war on the Bruderschaft for Chikara Pro’s very soul, he has continued to draw the ire of YAMATO in Dragon Gate USA. What started as a disrespectful act extended from YAMATO to Quack on the very first DGUSA show has snowballed into an all-out fight between YAMATO’s KAMIKAZE USA and the Chikara Sekigun. YAMA and his stablemates continue to jump Quack & company from behind and disrespect him, while Quack continues to lead his students in an effort to prove once and for all that his wacky band of youngsters can hold their own against the Japanese and independent elite. If not for one Bryan Danielson getting booked in a dream match against Shingo Takagi, this Eight-Man Elimination Match between the two sides in Philadelphia would have been the feud-ender. However, with Shingo’s removal from contention for the bout, the war will continue and this match provided Quack a chance to get in on the mind games. While YAMATO unsurprisingly chose Gran Akuma, Akira Tozawa & Jon Moxley for his side, Quack went with tag partner Jigsaw, top student Hallowicked and the man who very recently defeated YAMATO for the Open the Dream Gate, Masato Yoshino! “Lightning” Mike gets the last word in to YAMATO before this epic contest via the Chikara blog: “Go on, stick your tongue out on July 24th. Jigsaw will superkick it into the cheap seats. Or maybe Hallowicked will jam his boot down your throat the second you open your mouth. Prepare all you want. Try to be ready. Then get ready to lose. Your 15 minutes are up.”

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Perhaps the most beloved Dragon Gate wrestler on their roster, CIMA is never one to shy away from a challenge. He is the only two-time Dream Gate champion in DG history and he is their unofficial ambassador abroad. He has faced top competition at every level of professional wrestling, working dates for ROH, NOAH, IWRG, wXw, and he even had try-out matches on WWE Smackdown!. He has traveled the world and he has seen it all…everything except this. On July 25^th, in Philadelphia, he meets his antithesis. His opposite. The Anti-CIMA. Icarus is a CHIKARA’s most reviled performer, drawing the furious boos of a tyrant. He is unathletic, unoriginal, unfriendly, and undoubtedly one Chikara’s most decorated wrestlers. The only thing CIMA and Icarus have in common is their propensity for success within their home promotions. 2006 saw Icarus with both the Torneo Cibernetico and Campeonatos de Parejas and 2009 saw his faction F.I.S.T. stake their claim as the greatest Chikara trio in company history by winning the year’s King of Trios tournament. Both decorated, but worlds apart otherwise. CIMA is the Gallant to Ick’s Goofus, the snake to his mongoose. The Superman to his Bizarro. Now they will meet face to face in an extraordinary turn of events, and they won’t be alone. CIMA will be flanked by WARRIORS stablemate Dragon Kid and longtime ally Masaaki Mochizuki as they stand across from Icarus and the rest of F.I.S.T., Gran Akuma & Chuck Taylor. CIMA and Icarus eye to eye. Dragon Kid flying around the ring, flipping Taylor on his head. Mochizuki & Akuma, trading furious kicks. It’s a Chikara dream, and with Johnny Gargano threatening the very fabric of F.I.S.T. and it’s members, it may be the swan song for Chikara’s grandest and toughest trios.

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Eddie Kingston was a young man who had given up on wrestling. Disenchanted with the soft, watered-down product on current TV, the boy who would become “The Last of a Dying Breed” nearly missed his destiny. A fateful day at a friend’s house exposed him to the kind of wrestling that, to this day, keeps the fire behind his eyes burning in the face of constant demon and crippling depression. It was ECW. It was real. So many characters spoke to the young man from Yonkers. Shane Douglas, with his nasty mean streak. Raven, with his ability to turn a crowd on his head with only a few words. Tommy Dreamer, a young man who also hailed from Yonkers that, like Kingston, possessed the heart and determination of a lion. In Tommy, Eddie had found someone like him and realized that becoming a wrestler wasn’t impossible. If Tommy found a way outta Yonkers, so could Eddie. Thanks to Dreamer and ECW, the young lion rediscovered his love of wrestling, and he would eventually find his own personal jungle in Chikara Pro. But Eddie’s not just a dreamer; he’s a realist, too. Too slow, too gruff, too fat to get further than the indys. He used this bitterness to dismantle his opponents, knowing full-well that “his time” to reap the benefits of hard work would never truly come. Then…it did. Tommy Dreamer innocently strolled out onto the Arena floor just after Kingston had bested Christopher Daniels, and offered to give Kingston a crack at his idol. It would be Kingston vs. Dreamer, a decade in the making that no one thought possible. And when the time came for Kingston to live out an unlikely fantasy, to face the man that inspired him to compete, Claudio Castagnoli & Ares stole from him in an act of cowardice and hatred. The BDK generals interfered in the match, sullying a special moment for Kingston. The war between Claudio and Eddie that stemmed from a torn friendship has turned into as personal a fight as Chikara Pro has ever witnessed. Now, Dreamer and Kingston will join forces to teach the leaders of the Bruderschaft a lesson: you can kill the dream, but the dreamer never dies. Claudio and Ares will surely bring their soldiers, and that’s just fine. Two Dreamers against an entire army. They wouldn’t have it any other way.

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Daizee Haze & Sara Del Rey wanted competition. They begged for it. Pleaded for it. In July of last year, after Haze bested Rayna VonTash in less than four minutes, she screamed that she wanted to face someone stronger. Someone tougher. In an October tag match with Bullfight Sora, she was given Del Rey, an opponent she’s faced millions of times, and La Malcriada, a somewhat comedic competitor. This time it was Del Rey who showed frustration, beating Sora so badly that she was disqualified for Excesivo de Castigo. After the match, the two lethal ladies got together and decided to join up with Ares and the Bruderschaft. Since then, they have face mostly male competition and have held their own. However, the mean streak that consumed them both remains. They’ve continually been disqualified for blatant cheating and repeated violent acts without cause. Now, for the first time since that fateful tag match in October of last year, the two ladies will be involved in a tag match with two other ladies. This time, Death Haze is a united front, and they’ll have to be if they have any hopes of beating two of the toughest women in wrestling today: Raesha Saeed & Amazing Kong! This is perhaps their stiffest competition yet, as Kong and Saeed won’t hesitate to strike like Amasis, Mike Quackenbush and Hallowicked have in the past. They will be looking to squash the women of the BDK by any means necessary. And while most people would justifiably be worried, Haze seems very confident in a post on the Chikara blog: “Sara Del Rey and I, along with the rest of the BDK warriors, are recreating the definition of impact, incursion and havoc as we have – and will continue to – destroy everyone that crosses our paths. Everything that CHIKARA holds dear, we are taking for ourselves. We refuse to be ignored or overlooked anymore! So if you two can get on the same page long enough to make it to the ring next Sunday at Chikarasaurus Rex, be prepared to learn what [havoc] is all about. You think you’re going to bully Sara and I around the ring like you did all those precious TNA Knockouts? Think again Kong. I’ll be happy to put you in your place and show you what real wrestlers can do. We’re as good as the best and as bad as the worst. So don’t test us, just save yourselves and move out of our way. We are the best – the best on planet Earth! As you will find out.”

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Liars. Degenerates. Rudos. None of these labels are very surprising when used in the same sentence as Vin Gerard, Colin Delaney, and STIGMA, The UnStable. But because of some uncharacteristically sporting behavior early this year, the harsh language had been stifled by cheers of praise for Gerard and STIGMA’s performances. A series of hard-fought matches had Gerard expressing his desire to “go straight” and turn over a new leaf. STIGMA looked like he was missing his lovable “Shane Storm” days, using That Japanese Move to defeat Ophidian. Delaney wasn’t happy about all this, so here interfered on Vin’s behalf in a match against Amasis. Afterwards, when The Osirian Portal questioned Gerard about this, he apologized and claimed not to have been a part of it. They agreed to a tag team rematch with Colin barred from ringside. At Faded Scars and Lines, Colin showed up anyway, costing Amasis and Ophidian the match. Vin was furious afterwards, demanding that Colin tell the Portal that he had no part in any of it. Colin smiled and said that he could not. The UnStable then beat down the Egyptian duo, showing a returned mean streak and united front. It was all a ruse. Well, the Osirian Portal don’t like to be played, so when Amasis & Ophidian were challenged to a six-man tag at Chikarasaurus Rex, they turned to “The Psycho Shooter” for help.  Drake Younger has been waiting years to get his hands on The UnStable for their constant interference and cheating ways in his past Chikara appearances. Now, the team informally called “Drakes on a Plane” will seek retribution against a faction of wrestlers who proved to be calculated and malicious outside the ring, but still need to prove they can once again perform at a top level in-ring after their shocking exit from this year’s King of Trios.

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While The Colony may not have completely toppled the Bruderschaft at this year’s King of Trios, they at least showed that the faction has cracks and weaknesses. The BDK can be beaten, and Fire, Soldier and Green Ant plan to prove this again at Chikarasaurus Rex when they team with Frightmare to take on the BDK fearsome foursome of Young Lions Cup champion Tim Donst, “The Perfect 10” Lince Dorado, reigning Cibernetico winner Pinkie Sanchez, and the immovable, indestructible Tursas. While The Colony may hold a high-profile win over the BDK, the Bruderschaft have them in sheer volume. Donst’s last two successful defenses of the YLC championship were Frightmare and Soldier Ant. At Aniversario weekend, Fire Ant lost matches to both Pinkie Sanchez and Lince Dorado. Tursas not only destroyed Green Ant in a singles match early this year, but the 6 foot 7 inch monster has yet to be knocked down inside the ring. Tursas is the x-factor in every atomico match of the BDK’s, as he seems to make up for his team’s shortcomings with blunt focus and brute force. So if the Tecnico quartet can find a way to get Tursas off his feet –and keep him there –they have an excellent chance at coming away with a victory. But that if weighs almost 400 pounds, so you can bet that it’s going to take all four guys to put him down.

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One particular phrase popped into my head upon learning of this match-up: Sweet Merciful Zeus. Perhaps the most exciting and dynamic faction in Dragon Gate, WORLD-1 has come to Chikara and are well represented by their three figureheads: leader Naruki Doi, Dream Gate champion Masato Yoshino, and Freedom Gate champion BxB Hulk. With a trio that strong, one would think that Chikara officials would find it tough to match that kind of electric trio. Fear not, Chikara faithful: Mike Quackenbush captains a team with his tag partner and top student, Jigsaw and Hallowicked. While this bout may not have the natural match-ups the way WARRIORS/F.I.S.T. does or the heated exchanges of Kingston & Dreamer versus the BDK, it does possess as much talent as any match Chikara has put on this year. If you’re looking for you potential match of the show, your search should start here. While WORLD-1 might be considered a lock by some, don’t count out Quack and his Lightning Breed. Also, the Chikara squad has proven to be very cohesive the past year thanks to their joined struggles against the BDK while W-1 could suffer from some recent turmoil. See BxB Hulk in the avatar above? Well, he ain’t lookin’ like that when he shows up in Philly. He lost a match against Shingo Takagi at DG’s Kobe World PPV on July 11th, and as a result, he had his head shaved bald. Shingo demoralized Hulk afterward, calling him by his real name of Terumasa Ishihara, telling him to go back to dark matches and start his career over. On the same show, Yoshino captured the Dream Gate, DG’s top prize, and Naruki Doi won a tag match with PAC that may grant him a future DG tag title shot. So while it appears that W-1 has a lot on its plate, they are also coming in with a psychological advantage. Yoshino will be teaming with this Chikara trio the night before in DGUSA, so he should get a good look at what this awesome Chikara trio is all about, and Naruki Doi holds a win over Quack & Jigsaw in DGUSA with partner PAC. It’s gonna be six of wrestling’s most energetic performers in one match, and the only thing we can expect is the type of fast-paced, non-stop action that only Chikara and Dragon Gate can bring you.

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- My brother’s birthday was July 10^th, and my gift to him on his twenty-first birthday was this very tasteful BIRTHDAY CARD. Classy, no? My father’s birthday was July 17^th, and he enjoyed a nice time at the beach. Just wanted to wish them both Happy Birthdays and I hope both of their rashes clear up soon. It’s weird that they both got them at the same time…and in the same places…but I didn’t wanna ask.

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- Please leave any comments or questions you might have and I’ll do my best to respond with as much colloquial Irish gossip as I can conjure. I’d like to do a contest or something cool like that, but I’m not sure how much interest there’d be. Let you voice be heard! Also, let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see in the column, like fantasy booking, treasure hunts, wish-lists, secret handshakes, etc.

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Wrestler of the Year: Yamato

Other contenders: John Cena, Tyler Black, Davey Richards, Austin Aries, Roderick Strong, Chris Jericho, Claudio Castagnoli, Chris Hero, El Generico, Kevin Steen, Masaaki Mochizuki, Naomichi Marifuji, Prince Deavitt

Instead of coming up with numbers  for the other contenders, I’m just going to come up with a random list of guys who deserve mention and will be guys to watch the rest of the year.

When it comes to this award, I’m more basing this on their in-ring ability. I’m not sure how much wrestlers even have an impact on drawing power, so I think a better idea is to focus on what wrestlers do inside the ring. In all honestly, this was such an easy choice for me. Yamato is a guy who’s had tremendous matches in Dragon Gate Japan and Dragon Gate USA. In a company known for high flyers who aren’t the best at selling, Yamato has brought a more technical style to the main event scene. The two best examples of this are an Infinity match with CIMA and his Mercury Rising contest with Susumu Yokusuka. That doesn’t even take into account matches with Naruki Doi and two matches Masaaki Mochizuki. I’d say Tyler Black or John Cena are tied for a distant second.

Tag Team of the Year: The Young Bucks

Other Contenders: BDK (Claudio Castagnoli and Ares), The Colony (Soldier Ant and Fire Ant), The Briscoes (Mark and Jay Briscoe), Kings of Wrestling (Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli), Switchblade Conspiracy (Jon Moxley and Sami Calihan), Age of the Fall (Jimmy Jacobs and Tyler Black), House of Truth (Josh Raymond and Christian Able), Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw, K-nuska (Susumu Yokusuka and K-ness)

Tough call. Kings of Wrestling and Briscoe have had a very good feud, but Hero and Claudio haven’t really had many matches as the champions. Same goes for Claudio’s other duo with Ares. I’d say the second half of the year with each team getting more title defenses will move them up the list. Age of the Fall have had a great run in AAW. Quack ‘n’ Saw has delivered on some excellent in-ring performances but haven’t had much better than a .500 record nor have they held any gold.

‘It all comes back to the Bucks, a team I said was the best team of 2009. The Bucks continues defending their tag team titles in great matches before finally losing the belts at DDT4 2010.  And having seen that tournament? They ended their title reign  in the best possible way.They had a pair of four star matches in DG USA before their eventual departure. They even had some memorable matches during King of Trios 2010. I think the Bucks will be usurped by another team on the list, but the Bucks PWG tag team title reign ending might go down as one of the top moments in independent wrestling this year.

Non-Wrestling Performer of the Year: Bryce Remsburg

Other Contenders: Jacob Hammermeier, Truth Martini, Prince Nana, Jim Cornette, Gavin Loudspeaker, Excalibur, Rick Knox, Phil Colvin

I swear I didn’t give him the award because he was (and might be again) on the show. Is there anyone who better represents CHIKARA than Bryce? He’s one of the best referees in the business. Want proof? Look at all the Indy companies he’s refereed for. This doesn’t even take into account his announcing for CHIKARA which gets better with every show. He seems to show a genuine level of excitement for what’s going on in the ring. He also does a fine job getting storylines over. And think about this. When wXw came to Philadelphia in March, who announced the show Bryce Remsburg. And I’m also counting the Fan Conclave for the purposes of this award because of how awesome an experience it was for me and everyone involved.

If Jacob Hammermeier had a slightly more active role, he so would have won this award going away. I don’t think there’s a BDK member more hated than he. He’s so gloriously annoying as a ring announcer that when he gets taken out once and for all, the pop might be as loud as when the BDK lose the tag team titles or Cibernetico.

Comeback of the Year: Steve Corino

Other Contenders: Colt Cabana, Paul London, Ring of Honor (yes, the whole company), Brian Kendrick, Cyber Kong, Edge

What I like about this category is the many criteria you can judge it by. You can go to injuries and say a guy like Cyber Kong or Edge deserves it since both of their careers could easily be in jeopardy right now. Then I look at Brian Kendrick, a guy I buried at the end of 2009. He’s had good efforts in DG USA and TNA of all places. London is sort of an unknown because a lot of his standing with this award will be determined by his PWG tag title reign. His three matches during DDT4 2010 were a positive sign. Cabana focused too much on comedy and not enough wrestling. His focus in 2010 has been much improved. Ring of Honor- I’ll put it this way. Anyone who watched the company in 2009 and thought they were just fine was watching the shows with rose-colored glasses. Period. This company was putting on a lot of useless shows with bad booking and horrendous finishes. The finishes still aren’t great, but everything else has gotten so much better.

That brings me to the guy who’s going to win this award easily. Steve Corino meant nothing for indy fans last year. A lot of people looked at Corino coming back to Ring of Honor as a negative. All he’s done is consistently put on some of the best performances in recent years and been a major reason for the success of the El Generico vs. Kevin Steen rivalry. His year can be summarized when he took a chair shot to the heat while his head was in barbed wire at Bitter Friends, Stiffer Enemies. It was a brutal shot that exemplified Corino’s seemingly full commitment to Ring of Honor.

Most Improved of the Year: Zero Gravity (Bret Gakiya and C.J. Esparza)

Other Contenders: Malachi Jackson, Green Ant, The Cutler Brothers, AIW

I think I’ll have more of a sense of this award in December.  Zero Gravity have been a part of AAW for a couple years actually. Their growth started in last year, but anyone who’s watched an AAW show would notice it a lot more this year. Gravity has made spot appeareance for CZW, but AAW is where they’re breaking out. They’ve had two excellent matches with House of Truth. They were part of my favorite main events, an eight man tag at Appetite for Destruction. I know Aeroform gets all the publicity, but I think Gravity has more to offer in a similar type of role.

Malachi Jackson was a guy who I thought blew in 2009. He put on an impressive performance on night one of King of Trios and is at least putting on tolerable matches in PWG. Cutlers weren’t exactly stiffs last year, and Green Ant’s “improvement” might have more to do with the booking rather than just natural improvement.  Even if Drew Cordeiro wasn’t a friend of the show, I’d have to give Absolute Intense Wrestling a lot of credit. AIW was a rinky dink promotion out of Ohio not too long ago. They’ve show-horned their way into a crowded indy wrestling scene thanks to a number of well-done DVDs. Two were shoot interviews. One with a freshly released Colt Cabana and the other a hilarious interview with Matt Classic. Next was the Jack of All Trios that featured a number of talented wrestlers where the winner would get into the King of Trios. Guys like Flip Kendrick, Louis Lyndon, and Johnny Gargano have received opportunities throughout the northeast and Midwest. A relationship with CHIKARA leading to a doubleheader a couple weeks ago is another step in the evolving of AIW.

Most Underrated: Silas Young

Other Contenders: Arik Cannon, Northstar Express, House of Truth, Ryan Taylor, Brandon Bonham, Ares

I almost feel like I should just put AAW under this category, but I don’t want to come off as biased. Nonetheless, there are a lot of roster members who don’t get their just desserts. A lot of the PWG locals might not be household names, but they’re putting on some of the best matches in the company.  I guess none of these guys work in the northeast, so no one talks about them. If you haven’t watched any AAW or PWG, it’s well worth buying a DVD. I included Ares because the guy doesn’t get any credit for his in-ring work. Yes, he ‘s involved with the BDK, but beyond him being eeeeeeeeeevil, he’s a really strong talent inside the ring. Despite all the names on this list, there really is one guy who stood out above the rest.

The king of underrated this year is Silas Young because of his consistency as the AAW heavyweight champion. He’s had a number of good matches with Shane Hollister, Tyler Black, and Matt Cross. I could make an argument Colt Cabana’s best match since returning to the indies came against Young back in April at Point of No Return. He might be the best heel champion of the last couple years based on his ability to draw genuine heat from the Berwyn Eagles  Club. Even though he won the title in November, I see no signs of Young’s title reign ending.

Best Weekly Wrestling Show: Infinity

Not even bothering with other contenders here. Smackdown was actually pretty good the first couple months, but it has decreased rapidly with such an emphasis on Drew McIntyre and taking away much of the star power. Raw has too much comedy and too much of the writers not being able to make up their minds about angles. The Nexus angle brings some improvement to the show lately thankfully. NXT is a joke, or the WWE at least treats it like one. Impact… I don’t even need to go there. ROH is decent but has a few important flaws.

Infinity has some of the best wrestling on a weekly basis. I can think of multiple four star matches without even thinking. There are storylines, video packages, and an emphasis on promoting the product. If  none of the shows in the states can bother producing a show as good as this, then I’m going across the Pacific to find a great weekly wrestling show.

Feud of the Year: Kevin Steen vs. El Generico

Other Contenders: The Briscoes vs. Kings of Wrestling, Tyler Black vs. Austin Aries, Tyler Black vs. Roderick Strong, BDK vs. CHIKARA, World-1 vs. Warriors, The Young Bucks vs. PWG Fans, John Cena vs. Batista, C.M. Punk vs. Rey Mysterio, nXt vs. WWE

I don’t even know what to say. This is a remarkably simple feud. Generico and Steen were former partners, championship partners no less, who broke up in Ring of Honor. They’ve feuded in other places, yet what used to be old is new again. Steen’s presentation at Final Battle 2009 no doubt helped kick this feud off in an impressive way. While the trashing of the main event is well-deserved, it also needs to be said that the Steen and Generico feud kicked off in classic fashion. From the promo to the chairshot. It was all perfect. The promo work by Steen has had a lot to do with the success of the feud as well.

The efforts of Colt Cabana and Steve Corino shouldn’t be left behind either. Generico doesn’t do promos, so Cabana’s presence has become invaluable to lend a little bit of verbal sparring. And it’s not really fair for Cabana to be on Generico’s side without Steen getting a partner of his own. It also allowed ROH to put off a singles match between the former partners until Death Before Dishonor mere weeks ago. In what other feud in recent memory has it taken six months for two guys who are feuding to have a one-on-one match. Just an incredible feud, and if this doesn’t end up winning “Best Feud of 2010.” I’ll be floored.

Company of the Year: Ring of Honor

Other Contenders: CHIKARA, PWG, AAW, Dragon Gate

WWE and TNA aren’t on this list because they don’t deserve to be. Evolve doesn’t make the cut because they can’t decide on their own rules and have only run three shows. That leaves five companies, all of which I follow. I’m pretty much digging everything that is going on with all five companies I mentioned for this award. I don’t think CHIKARA nor PWG are as good as they were last year, but their shows are still worth checking out. Dragon Gate has a produced a number of incredible matches, but they’ve also had some negative moments (Abdullah the Butcher and L.A. Park anyone?)

Ring of Honor has streamlined the number of shows they’re running. They’ve become the first wrestling company to regularly experiment with the iPPV concept. The video packages, which can all be seen for free on YouTube and the website, has also helped improve the way ROH promotes their shows. The television show has at least become more focused on promoting the Pay-Per-Views. ROH has upgraded their announcing (not much but it’s a start) and the way they produce their DVDs. Tyler Black has been a major upgrade when it comes to being the ROH champion, mostly from an in-ring standpoint. El Generico and Kevin Steen has been one of the most compelling feuds in all of wrestling. Kings of Wrestling against the Briscoes is a solid number two. I wouldn’t say ROH is perfect, but they’ve reclaimed their spot as a top wrestling company.

Match of the Year: The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels(****1/2) (Wrestlemania XXVI)

Other Contenders:

DG/DG USAWorld-1 vs. Warriors (****1/2)(Mercury Rising) World-1 vs. Warriors (****1/4)(Dead or Alive 2010) Yamato vs. Naruki Doi (****1/4)(Compilation Gate), Yamato vs. Masaaki Mochizuki (****1/2)(Infinity), Yamato vs. CIMA (****1/4 (Infinity)

ROH: Tyler Black vs. Austin Aries (****1/4)(8^th Anniversary Show)Kings of Wrestling vs. The Briscoes (****1/4)(The Big Bang) Tyler Black vs. Austin Aries vs. Roderick Strong (****1/4)(The Big Bang), Kevin Steen and Steve Corino vs. El Generico and Colt Cabana (****1/4)(Bitter Friends, Stiffer Enemies II)

AAW: The Phoenix Twins vs. The House of Truth (****1/2) (The 6^th Anniversary Show)

EVOLVE: Davey Richards vs. Kota Ibushi (****1/2)(Evolve 1)

PWG: The Young Bucks vs. The Cutler Brothers (****1/2)(DDT4)

Basically, these are all the matches I’ve given ****1/4 or above. It’s honestly a pretty sad list when you look at it. Neither CHIKARA or PWG make the cut. Not to say they haven’t had any great matches, but they haven’t had any MOTYC. Sorry guys. This is the weakest year I can ever remember for great matches. By this point last year, I’d given one match ***** and another ****3/4. This year, I’ve given three matches ****1/2 and that’s it. ‘Taker and Shawn from Wrestlemania 25 was number three on my list last year. If it wins this year? That’s just sad. Shouldn’t be surprised by WWE only having one contender considering how poor the Pay-Per-Views have been and all the departures. Ring of Honor will always have matches on the list because of the talent involved. Here’s to better wrestling in the second half of the year, and some matches that light my world on fire. I fully expect PWG and CHIKARA’s summer run to produce multiple candidates that will make me change the list drastically.

These ten awards should give you an idea what the year 2010 has been all about. Tomorrow I will look at a burning question facing each company.

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It’s another CHIKARMY Insider! This week, it’s fully new and super detailed reports on this past weekend’s Chikara show featuring the return of Bryan Danielson! Not convinced you should read more? Some über cool stuff: a shower of ties for Danielson, a certain Kentuckian steals a woman’s purse, Bryan arguing for PG wrasslin’, the audience saving a wrestler by crowd surfing him back into the ring, WAR ULTRAMANTIS, The UnStable storyline taking a shocking turn, and Bryan Danielson…GOING TO TNA?!?! Find out more by reading the whole shebang. I’ve totally got you on the hook now, I’m sure of it. A special thanks goes to all those who texted and typed up results on Twitter and various other websites & forums, especially Mushroom Jones and JaKyL25 from the GameFaqs forum. I can take zero credit for the information provided, only for gathering and organizing it in one place for everyone to enjoy!

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(Photo by Chris Schramm)

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We Must Eat Michigan’s Brain

June 26, 2010 ~ Taylor, MI

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0. CLASH Showcase: Cameron Skyy & J. Miller d. GQ & Tommy Treznik (9:41). I am under the impression that this was a dark match, as no one was on commentary. Apparently, J. Miller and Cameron Skyy looked very good. Skyy and Miller got the win when Skyy pinned GQ with a bulldog variant. It was said to have been a good match that showcased CLASH pretty darn well.

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1. Teacher vs. Student: Mike Quackenbush d. Green Ant (6:09). In an unexpected match-up, Quack faced perhaps his most durable pupil. The match was literally nothing but submissions traded back and forth, back and forth. Ultimately, Quack got Green Ant to tap, and then post-match taught him how to escape and counter the hold he lost to. That’s awesome.

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2. Lince Dorado & Pinkie Sanchez d. The Osirian Portal (15:32). Lince pinned Amasis with a high speed prawn hold in a good match. Afterwards, the BDK continued the assault on Amasis & Ophidian until they were saved by…Vin Gerard & STIGMA. Boy, The UnStable sure do like The Osirian Portal. It’s getting a little creepy.

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3. Best Friends Forever?: UltraMantis Black d. Delirious (6:07). Ares was out controlling Delirious with the dog whistle and he also led him to the ring on a chain. Delirious is now in full white gear, mask and all. See the new get-up HERE. Like the Danielson pic above, this photo comes from somebody named Chris Schramm, who is officially awesome. Before the action began, UltraMantis was demanding answers from Delirious, who refused to respond. Ares blew the dog whistle and Delirious sprang into action. This was mostly a brawl, the finish coming when Ares and Delirious miscommunication allowed Mantis to school boy his former bestest buddy for the victory. Ares was furious afterwards.

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4. Fire & Soldier Ant d. Super Smash Brothers (11:55). Fire Ant pinned Player Uno in what was described as a awesome encounter between former tag team champions and was named by several people as Match of the Night. This gives The Colony duo their first point and, believe it or not, it’s been over a year and a half since Uno & Dos have won a straight tag match in Chikara. Bonkers.

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5. Chikara Dream Match: Bryan Danielson d. Eddie Kingston (15:19). Kingston came out first, and the crowd eagerly anticipated Danielson’s return. Suddenly, “Wild and Young”, the NXT theme, began to play. The crowd erupted in laughter and boos. After about twenty seconds, it cut off, “The Final Countdown” began to play and the crowd exploded with cheers, chants and raucous celebration. Instead of streamers, the fans covered the ring in ties! Danielson briefly threatened to choke referee Bryce Remsburg with one, but he ultimately relented. Very slow, smart match-up between the two men. In the end, Claudio came out and distracted Kingston, allowing Danielson to pick up the win via small package. Afterwards, “American Dragon” made an impassioned speech where he talked about getting more people interested in independent wrestling and the merits of PG-rated wrestling. It was quite hilarious. See the entire speech he gave HERE.

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6. Six-Man Tag Match: Acid Jaz, Marshe Rockett & Willie “Da Bomb” Richardson d. Ares, Tursas & Claudio Castagnoli (10:58). Kingston finally gets under Castagnoli and the Bruderschaft’s skin by distracting Claudio, allowing Acid Jaz to roll up Claudio for three, assisting in the big victory for Da Soul Touchaz. It should be mentioned that this is the first loss ever suffered by this particular BDK trio, and the fact that it’s to non-Chikara regulars speaks volumes about how the company tends to reward fervent fan response. Da Soul Touchaz were very over, and they celebrated their win heavily, like they couldn’t even believe it happened! Their manager C. Red picked up Gavin Loudspeaker with a big ol’ hug after they won.

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7. Young Lions Cup: Tim Donst© d. Frightmare (11:45). The match was heavy on fan interaction. Early on, Donst applied a submission and, when Frightmare got to the ropes, he broke the hold at the last possible moment, saying that he “had ‘til 5” in an effort to irk his following night’s opponent, Bryan Danielson. At one point, Frightmare was taking Donst around a tour of the ringside area, letting all the fans get a chop in on him, including some kids. Donst had Frightmare’s leg injured, so he took him to the far end of the arena and just left him there, hoping for a count out victory. But, in the truest spirit of Chikara, the fans actually CARRIED Frightmare back to the ring! Donst retained using a tie-assisted rear-naked-choke! The crowd knew that once the tie surfaced from his trunks, Frightmare was in trouble. Donst’s arm obscured the tie from the ref while he choked Frightmare out. Donst then hid the tie in his armpit so the ref wouldn’t see it post-match, and had to have the ref raise his other hand in victory. Frightmare sold the tie choke like death, needing water to be revived and people to help him to the back.

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8. Eight-Man Main Event: Equinox, Helios & 3.0 d. Icarus, STIGMA, Chuck Taylor & Vin Gerard (15:47). The main event had lots of comedy, mostly coming from 3.0 cutups Jagged and Shane Matthews. They got a “DEFENSE! DEFENSE!” chant going when Equinox was the face-in-peril for example. One of the members of 3.0 pulled off an epic series of head scissors. Chuck Taylor scared the life out of some kid, and stole a girl’s purse in the middle of the match. Helios got the pin on Icarus with the 630 Splash and The Future is Now gained momentum going into the next night’s tag title shot against Claudio & Ares by defeating the Rudo quartet. Once again, Chikara puts eight random guys in a tag match and they turn it into fried gold. Dives, laughs and fun times galore, but it suffered a bit because people started to get in line to get Danielson’s autograph about half way through.

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Overall Thoughts

This sounds like the quintessential Chikara experience: nothing mind blowing, but every single match is worth seeing. There was somewhere between 250-350 people, a very good number for Chikara’s debut in the Detroit area. The most lauded contests were Colony/SSB, the YLC match, and the Main Event, and I’ve heard absolutely nothing but good things about each and every match. Chikara has more “I must see this!” moments than any promotion in professional wrestling: Danielson’s entrance & exit, the shenanigans in the Young Lions Cup match, Delirious & UltraMantis interacting again, and Eddie getting a little payback on Claudio are just a few of the best mentioned. This was already a no-brainer purchase, so the glowing reviews really only serve to build anticipation for a show I was confident would be great.

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Faded Scars and Lines

June 27, 2010 ~ Cleveland, OH

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1. Tursas d. Player Dos (4:22). Dos brought the fight to the big man but Tursas emerged victorious thanks to his devastating Big Splash.

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2. Da Soul Touchaz d. The Colony (9:12). In yet another stunning upset for Da Soul Touchaz, the unit beat the 2010 King of Trios runners up the night after defeating this year’s tournament winners. Willie Richardson got the pin for his team after crushing Green Ant with his Top Rope Leg Drop. Wow.

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3. Grudge Tag Match #1: 3.0 d. Icarus & Chuck Taylor (8:52). Huge win for 3.0, giving them their first point towards a tag title shot. Scott “Jagged” Parker rolled up Chuck Taylor for the three count, concluding a terrible week for the F.I.S.T. boys.

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4. Johnny Gargano d. Player Uno (11:29). Looks as though Gargano is here to stay, as he utilized the home-field advantage (he’s from Ohio) to best Uno with a Twisting Flatliner.

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5. Grudge Tag Match #2: Lince Dorado & Pinkie Sanchez d. Mike Quackenbush & Frightmare (15:10). Lince low-blowed Frightmare behind Sir Bryce’s back, securing the dubya for Dorado & Sanchez. That’s two points for them. Tursas came out and threatened to give Quackenbush the Big Splash…..but he’s saved and the Bruderschaft are run off by a chair-swinging UltraMantis Black! Nice!

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6. Eddie Kingston d. Delirious (9:47). Kingston finally pins someone from the BDK, albeit not exactly a fully-committed member. “The Last of a Dying Breed” wins after an impressive offensive flurry and his patented Backfist to the Future, pushing Delirious to 0-2 on the weekend.

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7. Delaney Barred From Ringside: Vin Gerard & STIGMA d. The Osirian Portal (14:35). Vin Gerard pinned Ophidian after Colin Delaney turned his mask around, allowing Vin to get a crucifix pin. Gerard & STIGMA are irate with Colin and they demand Delaney tell the Portal what he did had nothing to do with them. In a shocking move, STIGMA, Delaney & Gerard beat down Amasis & Ophidian! It was all a ruse! The UnStable seem to have…stabilized…for now.

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8. Bryan Danielson d. Tim Donst (18:37). Tim Donst nearly pulls off the upset of the decade in the longest match of the weekend, but he eventually falls victim to Cattle Mutilation. After the match, we get another vintage Danielson promo. He states that, after his 90 no-compete clause is up…HE’S GOING TO TNA!!! SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS, NO!!! Okay, so he was joking…no worries. NOT COOL, Bryan. Hilarious…BUT NOT COOL. He continues to joke about going to TNA, saying the fans don’t want to see Desmond Wolfe vs. Lloyd Boner.

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9. Campeonatos de Parejas: Claudio Castagnoli & Ares© d. Helios & Equinox (12:54). Claudio and Ares attack before the bell. Ares catches Equinox with the Toblerone Driver to put the Bruderschaft up one fall to none in nine seconds. With The Future is Now reeling, the entire Tecnico locker room empties to root them on just like they did for Incoherence at Aniversario Elf. Tursas came down the ramp during the match looking to interfere, but the tecnicos got in his path and denied him the opportunity. Helios hits the 630 Splash on Ares, but the sure three count gets broken up by Castagnoli. Claudio tosses Helios into the lights, but since there are no actual lights for Helios to hold on to like Frightmare did, he falls right into a European Uppercut. Cover. Three count. BDK Reign Supreme in two straight falls.

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Overall Thoughts

While I obviously tracked down much more info on the Michigan show, I’ve read a few people state that Danielson/Donst was the Match of the Weekend and that it was another very, very good show. We got some movement in some storylines, including the revelation that The UnStable are on the same page after all. This is a bizarre twist to this story, as all three guys have become extremely stagnant as a trio. With Crossbones officially gone from Chikara, STIGMA would be a natural fit for a reborn Neo Solar Temple. I said this on the podcast I did recently, but a Vin Gerard & Chuck Taylor tag team would be gangbusters. Gargano and Da Soul Touchaz both left lasting impressions in the minds of Chikara fans, and they will surely both be a part of the company in the future. Overall, it appears that Chikara pulled off two great shows at just the right time, as the attention Danielson will bring was not squandered. These are top shelf Chikara shows, and I can’t wait to pick them up at Smart Mark Video in a couple weeks.

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- So…my back is shot. I pulled a muscle or I’m having lower spine issues or something. If I’m not laying flat on my back, I’m in constant pain. So if you were saying to yourself, “Doesn’t this guy always do more than just results?” this is the reason why. My lovely and super smart girlfriend tells me that there are these things called doctors, and that they can, like…fix you. Psh. Doctors are for I should really go to the doctor. I might have to if this is still unbearable by, say, Wednesday. So hopefully I never have to do a column in this manner again. I always try to bring original content and commentary each and every week, so this article probably has the all-time least amount of me in it. Back spasms permitting, this will be rectified in the coming weeks. Remember: “Chikarasaurus Rex: King of Show” coverage starts next week!

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- Please leave any comments or questions you might have and I’ll do my best to respond with as much colloquial Irish gossip as I can conjure. I’d like to do a contest or something cool like that, but I’m not sure how much interest there’d be. Let you voice be heard! Also, let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see in the column, like fantasy booking, treasure hunts, wish-lists, secret handshakes, etc.

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Welcome to an exciting and shiny new CHIKARMY Insider! This week is, in LOST terms, a Bryan Danielson-centric episode. Chikara had an opening to fill in the ol’ schedule due to Darkness Crabtree injuring his hip in a nursing home accident and, as luck would have it, the WWE lost their minds and fired Daniel Bryan! So Chikara officials canceled the match between Crabs and Green Ant, called up Daniel Bryan, got transferred to Mr. Danielson, and new matches were born. The Kingston/Delirious match was broken apart and they were each given new opponents. To find out who faces “American Dragon”, click the link below, ya dingus. I warn you: reading my write-up on “AmDrag” could cause you to overdose on hyperbole. You’ve been warned. I’ve also got the full cards for next week’s shows, which look awesome I might add. No bias. Also without prejudice: Danielson truly is the best wrestler on Erf and I hope he enjoys his short stint back on the indys. It won’t last. He’ll be back to blowing the minds of viewers worldwide in no time at all. Until then, savor this moment, wrestling fans. If you asked me who I thought would come back first, Jesus to save us or Danielson to the indys…I’d have abstained. I’ve upset Jesus enough this week. To the Batcave!

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He was too short. He was too pale. He couldn’t talk the talk, walk the walk, of a WWE Superstar. These were the superficial complaints from uninformed, mainstream fans that hadn’t been introduced to the man known on WWE television as Daniel Bryan. Under that name, he had accomplished nothing. The new name forced him to start from scratch and prove his worth each and every week, rather than rely on the merits of his true name, with which a reputation was earned in unrivaled toughness and unquestioned determination. The problem was…he wasn’t really Daniel Bryan. “Daniel Bryan” was an over-processed, manufactured commodity birthed from a company driven by profit. The man behind the moniker is, in reality, an unchained warrior and has never been driven by money; the thrill of combat and the roar of the fans drive his every step inside the ring. The “Daniel Bryan” name was little more than a pair of solid gold handcuffs designed to restrain the true man from showing his not-so-PG greatness. So, without so much as a wink to the camera, the man behind “Daniel Bryan” destroyed the image in an act of carnal fury. Bryan Danielson choked out Justin Roberts with that tie. Bryan Danielson spit in John Cena’s fan. Bryan Danielson looked Superman in the eye and had the audacity to tell him that he was better. Bryan Danielson scared women, children, stockholders, and campaign advisers alike. These were acts that “Daniel Bryan” was incapable of performing based on the rules he was conceived. Now uncaged and out in the open, the WWE fired him for being too real in a universe that has grown accustomed to attitude-yielding fiction. Now, the audience of that universe is speaking up.

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There are several Facebook groups that pledge their allegiance to Danielson. A major petition grows in membership by the hour. Veterans of the ring have voiced their displeasure at Bryan Danielson’s expulsion. Even John Cena, the man who was spit on, screamed at and ultimately put down with a sick roundhouse kick to the head, has defended the very perpetrator of these acts. He signed the petitioned and voiced his belief that Danielson deserved to stay, that he “belongs amongst our group.” Most believe that he will be back soon than later, but for now, the independent wrestling scene has back one of its Fathers. And if you think this is just going to be another run from a talented wrestler–think again. The WWE fired Bryan Danielson for not being “Daniel Bryan” enough, and in all likelihood, Danielson will be forced to wear that masquerade once he returns. So for now, it should be clear what Danielson’s goal is: prove them wrong. With every head kick, every MMA elbow, every Cattle Mutilation, “American Dragon” Bryan Danielson will prove that there is more money and interest in his actual name, in reality itself, than contained in a single syllable of his former and future identity. The wrestling world has its eyes on The Dragon, and he will prove once and for all that you can’t cage a man forever. His first opportunity will come on June 26th in Taylor, Michigan, when “American Dragon” Bryan Danielson will return to Chikara Pro and the independent scene as a whole. And just as he did for nearly a decade before “Daniel Bryan” was ever envisioned…he will make it his bitch.

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“The Kentucky Gentleman” is Not Amused

I’ve been in CHIKARA for almost four years now. I’ve written quite a few blogs for you goober fans out there in the internet world, and yes, these blogs are for you fans. I have my own private blog where I write about my feelings and have awesome lyrics to sad songs and stuff (but like really manly sad stuff.) It seems like all my blogs are getting pretty formulaic…funny line, run down my list of accolades, funny line, say how I will never lose, rinse and repeat. Well guess what – I do lose. Here, lately, it’s seeming to happen more and more often.

Johnny Gargoochi, I saw you sitting in the aisle on Night 2 of King of Trios, rocking that super-sweet F.I.S.T. shirt. And yes, I lost to a dirty, cheating Japonesey. Now, through the magic of Facebook, (remember when it was just for college kids?) I saw what you said about F.I.S.T. having a weak link. Using my Sherlock Holmes-esque powers of deduction I’m willing to bet you think that weak link is me, The Kentucky Gentleman.

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I noticed you weren’t at Night 3. If you were, you would’ve seen what I did to another man who underestimated me, El Oriental. In what many people are calling the Match of the Year, I made him tap out in the center of the ring (maybe it was a little left of the center, but still,) as I got back on the winning track.

So, Mr. Gargoochi. Let me make it really easy for you. Real formulaic. Young Lions Cup champion. Rey de Voladores. King of Trios. Most beautiful man in Western Kentucky award. I don’t think I like your face. Beat La Oriental. I will never lose. That’s basically my bio right there. Gargoochi, keep your contract-signing-hands out of F.I.S.T. business, and stay in Ohio with all the other people no one likes.

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Yours truly, The Kentucky Gentleman,

- Chuck Taylor

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Chikarasaurus Rex: King of Show

“Chikarasaurus Rex” is a little over a month away and it’s already shaping up to be a must-see show. You can expect full write-ups on all new matches right here in this column the week after Chikara’s June shows take place, so for now, you’re getting the updates from me this way. Having already announced two outstanding bouts, a third has come to light, while a fourth has been speculated for some time and has yet to be confirmed. July 24th at The ECW Arena will see Sara Del Rey & Daizee Haze face perhaps the only two women on Earth who intimidate me more: Amazing Kong & Raisha Saeed! The former TNA Knockouts were a potent pair during their time in TNA, and are looking to secure a permanent role in Chikara Pro with a win over the ladies of the BDK. I failed to mention this for some time, hoping that there would be a confirmation of some kind. Since I’m impatient, I’ll just get your damn hopes up. This is a comment made by Jigsaw in reference to how awesome he and partner Mike Quackenbush are: “When two of the pound-for-pound best wrestlers in the world, Masato Yoshino and Naruki Doi, come up to you and say they want to face you to see who is best – you’re impressing all the right people.” So there you go. Quack & Jigsaw vs. Speed Muscle would be great and makes sense in a few different storyline ways. However, I’ll leave you to your own conclusions. When you present facts with opinions, call them all facts, and then tell the viewers to “make up their own minds”…it’s call “pulling a Fox News”. You’ve just been NAILED, you pinhead. *cries for the ratings*

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Young Lions Cup VIII

Though the three-day tournament isn’t until late August, there will still be plenty to report on as “Young Lions Cup VIII” approaches. Inexplicably, former Chikara roster member and one-third of The Roughnecks group Grizzly Redwood has shown up on the Chikara website…in blog form. Here his comments are not only directed at former tag partner Brodie Lee but to Chikara officials as well. “I’ve got something to prove. But before I get to you Big Rig, I’m going to prepare myself by clearing a path. So CHIKARA, go find me the biggest timber in your forest. I’m gonna knock him down.” Well, Chikara has responded, and on the first night of action, Grizz will go up against the mighty Tursas, manhandler of the Bruderschaft! Best of luck to ya, Big Grizz. Also, another participant for the actual tournament has been named. Following the announcements of Lince Dorado & Green Ant, Sugar Dunkerton joins the fray. This is his first full year in Chikara and first appearance in the YLC tournament. Tag partner Dasher Hatfield made his debut in last year’s tourney, so there’s a good chance Sugar could be joined by Dasher this year. With last year’s theme of partner vs. partner going pretty darn well, don’t be surprised to see the concept reemerge again this year. You can expect full write-ups on all announced competitors and matches right here in this column the week after “Chikarasaurus Rex” takes place!

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It started as all great love stories start: a vicious kidnapping and hypnosis with a mystical artifact. Though he was but a lowly slave, UltraMantis Black grew to love the drooling, violent Delirious that had been bred from using the Eye of Tyr to control his mind. Mantis called him his “Perfect Weapon”. Delirious called him, “¡$%&*%^@!”. It was their thing. Alas, it was not to be. As UltraMantis felt the warm embrace of Chikara supremacy, the Bruderschaft leader known as Ares snatched it away by unleashing Delirious from his captivity and costing Mantis the Campeonatos de Parejas. Ares and his BDK originally came to Chikara in search of the Eye of Tyr that Mantis had no right to possess. They used trickery and cruelty to get it back, and Ares used the Eye of Tyr to free Delirious…or so we thought. UltraMantis, sick of being preyed upon by the BDK, challenged Ares to a match. When Ares showed up to face Mantis, his new pet was enough to distract UltraMantis and notch another victory for the Bruderschaft over the fallen leader of The Neo Solar Temple. His new pet was Delirious. Ares didn’t free him…he just altered who commands him. Now the two former allies will come face to face where UltraMantis will do whatever it takes to get his friend back. And with a little bit of luck, if the rumors are true, he just might succeed…or face his own demise.

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So I’ve already overloaded you with enough exaggeration as it is, so I’ll keep this fact-heavy. FACT: Eddie Kingston and Bryan Danielson have been in the same ring before; what’s more, they were across the ring from each other in the very first match “American Dragon” had in Chikara. On the first night of the 2009 King of Trios, Danielson, as a member of the super group Team Uppercut lead by fan favorite Claudio Castagnoli, stood and opposed Kingston, a member of The Roughnecks and one of the company’s biggest heels, in the tournament’s opening round. Danielson would submit Grizzly Redwood and Team Uppercut advanced. FACT: A lot has changed since then. Bryan’s Uppercut teammate, Claudio Castagnoli, is one of the leaders of the Bruderschaft, a group hell-bent on controlling every aspect of Chikara. Kingston, a long-time receiver of boos, has become an unlikely general in the fight to save the company. At one time, Kingston was infuriated at stars like Jigsaw & Hallowicked because they seemed to always get themselves Dream Matches. Well, this will be Kingston’s second of the year, and in consecutive shows! The first, against Tommy Dreamer, saw the aforementioned Claudio and his BDK cohorts interfere unwarranted, just to further mess with Eddie Kingston. It would surprise no one to see Claudio approach his friend Danielson at some point in the night, perhaps during his match. FACT: Kingston and Danielson both have something to prove. Having beaten veterans Christopher Daniels and Gran Akuma this year, Eddie’s time to prove he deserves a spot in the upper echelon of indy wrestlers is now. Danielson, coming from the WWE, must prove the diabolical company’s ruthless firing hasn’t taken his edge away. FACT: It hasn’t. FACT: This match will be awesome. FACT: Kingston and Danielson both have something in common. Like the rare “American Dragon”, Kingston is “The Last of a Dying Breed”. FACT: That was funny and (woo woo woo) you know it. FACT: I’m not even a little sorry for that.

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In a CLASH Showcase Match, GQ & Tommy Treznik will take on Cameron Skyy & J. Miller. Now, I don’t know a damn thing about any of these guys, so I’ll just reiterate what I said about showcase matches in my write-up of DGUSA’s Canada debut shows. Back in 2006, Dragon Gate put six of their best guys in a ROH ring and became the talk of the wrestling word the next day. Lethal Wrestling Alliance threw four guys into the ring during Chikara’s King of Trios 2009, and they were booed out of the arena & met with “Don’t Come Back” chants. There’s a lot of pressure on guys who have to not only represent themselves, but an entire company. Some rise to the occasion, some work for the Lethal Wrestling Alliance. It’s a risky endeavor that can pay off in the future or bury your company’s reputation…*ominous voice*…FOREVER. Good luck to all four guys.

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We Must Eat Michigan’s Brain ~ Saturday, June 26th ~ Taylor, MI

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8. Six-Man Main Event: Acid Jaz, Marshe Rockett & Willie “Da Bomb” Richardson vs. Ares, Tursas & Claudio Castagnoli

7. Eight-Man Tag: Equinox, Helios & 3.0 vs. Icarus, STIGMA, Chuck Taylor & Vin Gerard

6. Chikara Dream Match: Bryan Danielson vs. Eddie Kingston

5. Young Lions Cup: Tim Donst© vs. Frightmare

4. The Osirian Portal vs. Lince Dorado & Pinkie Sanchez

3. Super Smash Brothers vs. Fire & Soldier Ant

2. Best Friends Forever?: UltraMantis Black vs. Delirious

1. CLASH Showcase: GQ & Tommy Treznik vs. Cameron Skyy & J. Miller

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The first time these two teams met, they had a fantastic match that caught many Chikara fans off guard. Even more surprising was the reaction of Vin Gerard & STIGMA after they lost. During the match, Amasis injured himself, but with partner Ophidian’s help, they were still able to secure the victory. Afterwards, Gerard told both men good luck in their quest for a title shot and STIGMA…shook their hands. These displays of kindness have become more common for the UnStable pair as they attempt to “go straight”. This does not sit well with The UnStable’s third member, Colin Delaney. He interfered on Vin’s behalf in a singles match against Amasis, after which Gerard looked irate when he found out how he had won. Now, with Colin Delaney barred from ringside, the four men will lock-up once again. But the struggle between Gerard & Delaney seems to be worsening, judging from this portion of Vin’s recent Chikara blog post aimed at Colin: “Cibernetico Begins was the first chance I had to see your true colors. About who you look out for, and who comes first. Think I forgot? In Pottsville, at A World of Comforting Illusions, you couldn’t just sit there and do your job at Commentation Station. No, not you, you just had to open your mouth…am I surprised? King of Trios 2010 was our chance to turn things around…OUR chance, to turn things around!!! Your chance to drop the ball, and I couldn’t help but laugh in your face. My match with Amasis at Aniversario Elf, I told you to let ME take care of things, regardless of what happened. Who knew I could trust a snake over you? June 27th in Cleveland, OH is a BIG deal to The UnStable. And you’re not. Fair warning: If I see your face while STIGMA and I are taking on The Osirian Portal, there’s going to be a problem.”

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Faded Scars and Lines ~ Sunday, June 27th ~ Cleveland, OH

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8. Campeonatos de Parejas: Claudio Castagnoli & Ares© vs. Helios & Equinox

7. For the Good of Mankind: Eddie Kingston vs. Tim Donst

6. Delaney Barred From Ringside: The Osirian Portal vs. Vin Gerard & STIGMA

5. Definitely a Grudge Match: Mike Quackenbush & Frightmare vs. Lince Dorado & Pinkie Sanchez

4. Player Dos vs. Tursas

3. Not Quite a Grudge Match: Icarus & Chuck Taylor vs. 3.0

2. Player Uno vs. Johnny Gargano

1. Way Too Low on the Card: The Colony vs. Da Soul Touchaz

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- I know I promised you the TOP TEN Chikara Themes on the podcast I did, but I couldn’t track down every song I needed, so you’ll have to wait until next Sunday or early Monday, where you’ll also get the full results for that weekend’s two big shows. I’VE STILL NEVER RECEIVED A THANK YOU. Whatever. Ungrateful punks…

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- Please leave any comments or questions you might have and I’ll do my best to respond with as much colloquial Irish gossip as I can conjure. I’d like to do a contest or something cool like that, but I’m not sure how much interest there’d be. Let you voice be heard! Also, let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see in the column, like fantasy booking, treasure hunts, wish-lists, secret handshakes, etc.

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Welcome to another edition of CHIKARMY Insider, the on-line Chikara article that dares to use the word “indubitably” in a sentence despite it’s propensity to draw open mockery. We use “propensity”, too. This whole Daniel Bryan Danielson mess involving Triple H? Balderdash and codswallop derived from rumpus scuttlebutts of the hoi polloi. I CAN’T STOP! Okay, I’ll stop. This week, we get blog posts from UltraMantis Black and referee Nick Sabato, minor updates on two big future Chikara events and major match updates for the June Chikara shows. Pinkie up, fools. We’re in Mannersville not Slob City!

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Eine Mitteilung von Derek Sabato

This morning, I had to sit and review some frightening clips from Aniversario Elf with Herr VonSteigerwalt. In Union City, the one and only Tommy Dreamer, a man I thought would have some moral fiber to him, went WAY over the line. First, he grabbed me, wrinkling my clean, white shirt, which no wrestler should ever do to an official. Then, he threatened me with bodily harm. For this transgression, I had no choice but to disqualify him. You cannot make threats in line at the airport and expect to get away with it, and you cannot threaten a sanctioned referee and expect nothing to happen. Those wild and crazy ECW days are over for a reason, Mr. Dreamer.

Then, things went WAY over the line, as Dreamer attempted to piledrive me. ME – an unarmed man, doing his job, trying to make a living as an honest ref. Why on Earth would anyone even think of harming me? Watching these clips back today reminded me of just how senseless this type of wrestler-on-official violence is. While I have sought counselling for the emotional trauma suffered at the hands of Mr. Dreamer, imagine what poor Jakob is going though. Now with an injured neck, he is sidelined indefinitely until he is well enough to hold up that microphone and do his job again. Who will support his family until then, Tommy? Did that ever cross your sick mind before you crushed him with that Dreamer Driver?

CHIKARA fans around the world, you have never been particularly nice to me. But even so, you must agree with Dieter and I that this type of behavior is totally unacceptable. No one should have to ply their trade in a hostile work environment. My therapist believes I am not ready to return to the workplace this month, but I will continue courageously on the path to recovery, until the flashbacks and night terrors are gone, and I am released to resume the job that I love to do.

- Derek Sabato

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A Message from UltraMantis Black

In the year Two Thousand Two, UltraMantis was born into professional wrestling via the slightly askew world of CHIKARA. At that time, he was one among a very, very small cast of players in an organization that was in its mere embryonic stage. A company that was conceived, constructed, and cultivated with the labor and toil of individuals whose only goal was to completely transform the sport of professional wrestling as it had hitherto been known. It is eight short years later, and a cadre of deviants calling themselves the Bruderschaft des Kreuzes seeks to erase that history. To eradicate the legacy we forged.

I am fully cognizant of the fact that my insatiable hunger to elevate the Order of the Neo Solar Temple to glorious heights through manipulation of the black arts is what directly led to this BDK infiltration. As I have watched the razing of my Order and the oppression of all of CHIKARA by jackbooted thugs, I am reminded of the War of the Sons of Light and the Sons of Darkness. I have long studied the structural damage in the blueprint of humanity, and now at last I am able to make sense of it and accept that for which I am responsible. So to that end, my sole mission becomes clear – to completely vanquish the BDK from all of CHIKARA.

It is abundantly clear that the man they call Ares has gravely underestimated me. He can destroy my Neo Solar Temple and take away everything I hold dear, but the mastermind remains. That is your fatal flaw, Ares. So relish the Campeonatos de Parejas. Relish the Young Lions Cup while you can. Enjoy your tenure as the King of Trios. Whether you sense it or not, your days are numbered.

Those of us that built CHIKARA brick by brick will only tolerate so much.

- UltraMantis Black

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Chikarasaurus Rex: King of Show

So, are you a fan of Dragon Gate? Do you know what Dragon Gate is? Can you tell me your last name? Super Duper! Chikara Pro and Dragon Gate, two of the most unique and fast-paced wrestling companies in the world, have stayed apart for far too long. In the Dark Times, one would have to watch Chikara and DG stars separately, wasting valuable mall loitering time. Kids and some bears would dream of the day when both companies would come together on the same night, in the same building, and then have people tape it and sell as a means to make money. Then, we were blessed with Dragon Gate USA, and while they’ve been super good shows…it’s not enough. Not enough, I tell you! On July 25th at The ECW Arena in Philadelphia, Chikara will host the stars of DG in what could only be called “Chikarasaurus Rex: King of Show”! Many of your favorite Dragon Gate stars will be there to oppose the stars of Chikara Pro! It’s a concept show of epic proportions! So far, two matches have been made official: Tommy Dreamer & Eddie Kingston vs. Ares & Claudio Castagnoli in a tag team grudge match stemming from the results of “Aniversario Elf” and a dream trios match that will pit the 2009 King of Trios winners against three of DG’s toughest veterans: Team F.I.S.T. vs. CIMA, Dragon Kid, & Masaaki Mochizuki! You can expect full write-ups on these matches right here in this column the week after Chikara’s June shows take place!

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DGUSA: Enter the Dragon 2010

The war between the Chikara Sekigun and KAMIKAZE USA will come to an end the night before “Chikarasaurus Rex” on July 24th at The ECW Arena when each side will stand against the other in a big, to-be-determined bout during Dragon Gate USA’s 1st Anniversary Celebration known as “Enter The Dragon 2010”! To get a detailed summary of how the feud as escalated to this point, read this article on the subject, which includes a few video summaries as well. Furthermore, DGUSA officials are currently listening to ideas from fans for what the conflict-ending match should be! I’ve left my own thoughts under my name, as did Chikara Special author and wandering philanthropist Kevin Ford. You may not be as cool as us, but you’re opinion counts the same! Head over to the official DGUSA website for all the info!

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Young Lions Cup VIII

On August 27th, 28th, and 29th, residents of Reading, PA will be fortunate enough to take in three days of blockbuster Chikara action when the eighth Young Lions Cup Tournament takes place at the Goodwill Fire Association Hall! The tourney features twenty four wrestlers that must be under twenty five years of age to compete. Nights One and Two both feature six singles matches that grant the winners a spot in each night’s Six-Way Elimination Match. The two wrestlers who survive the main events will face each other in the Main Event of Night 3 to determine not only the tournament’s winner but the new holder of the Young Lions Cup! You can expect full write-ups on all announced competitors and matches right here in this column the week after “Chikarasaurus Rex” takes place! So far, only two of the tourney’s participants have been named, and they are presented below.

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Before they tag in perhaps the biggest match of their Chikara careers (see below), Helios and Jimmy “Equinox” Olsen will team with fan-favorites 3.0 in an eight-man tag match. While The Future Is Now may see this as merely a tune up for the next night’s huge challenge, this is serious business for a team known for their comedic chops. When Jagged and Shane Matthews revealed to the world that they, in fact, both 2.0 and The Badd Boyz, fans were both stunned and excited. The denim was shed, Jagged got a first & last name, and 3.0 was born! For some reason, Icarus & Gran Akuma showed up at ringside to berate the tag team for not taking anything seriously. With Akuma out due to injury, Chuck Taylor will step in to defend the honor of F.I.S.T., and they’ll get help from UnStable members Vin Gerard & STIGMA. In the past few months, Vin Gerard has expressed a desire to curb his mischievous ways and join the Rebel Alliance. With so many conflicts and personal issues in play, it’s like you’re getting the action of a top-level independent wrestling company with the emotional drama you’d only find on “The Maury Show”. That’s a legit compliment. I love that show.

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Though they have largely been relegated to the background of the Chikara vs. BDK Wars, Amasis & Ophidian have just as much a reason to hate the Bruderschaft as any tecnico on the roster. They were the target of Sara Del Rey & Daizee Haze on the first Chikara show of the year, and the ladies destroyed the duo in brutal fashion. Later in the year, The Osirian Portal opposed Claudio & Ares in a Four Team Elimination tag match which saw Ophidian get pinned by Ares thanks to a Toblerone Driver. That BDK team would win the match and use the points gained to challenge and capture the Campeonatos de Parejas. At King of Trios, everything came to a head when the Portal was inserted into the tournament as a replacement for Team Mexico. They were to face the Bruderschaft trio of Claudio, Ares and Tursas. Their partner was drawn from a special hat brought out by BDK supporter and Director of Fun, Dieter VonSteigerwalt. Their “randomly chosen” partner turned out to be Sara Del Rey. Needless to say, they never had a chance. Once again, the BDK used a win over the Portal as a springboard to success, as that trio would go on the claim the title of King of Trios. Now, the pair will face BDK young lions Lince Dorado and Pinkie Sanchez in Chikara’s Detroit area debut, presenting a wonderful opportunity for Amasis & Ophidian to exact some revenge…Egyptian style. If memory serves, Egyptian justice usually involves sand, locusts, a violent storm of blood rain, and sand. Groovy.

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It was back at “Wit, Verve and a Bit o’ Nerve” where Mike Quackenbush first mentioned the idea of Frightmare someday becoming the Young Lions Cup champion. Many thought this meant that Frightmare would be secured a spot in the Young Lions Cup VIII tournament that is coming soon. However, because of recent stellar performances, he has been granted a chance to bypass the tourney altogether. At “We Must Eat Michigan’s Brain” in Taylor, Michigan, Frightmare will attempt to do what Player Uno, Dasher Hatfield and Soldier Ant failed to do: beat Tim Donst for the YLC Title. This will be Frightmare’s second title match in consecutive shows; he and partner Hallowicked failed to gain the tag titles at “Aniversario Elf” after the BDK champions targeted Frights and beat him to a pulp. Because of this, Donst may come in to this match more cocky than usual. It’s a mistake that’s been made by Crossbones, Icarus and even big Brodie Lee. They all underestimated the little guy, and he pinned each one.

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When you face Ares & Claudio Castagnoli with the Campeonatos de Parejas on the line, you can expect anything and everything other than a fair fight. In winning the titles, they required the assistance of stablemate Tursas to distract the referee and help defeat Fire & Soldier Ant. In their first attempted defense of the championships, the BDK utilized their newest weapon and faction pet, Delirious. Controlled via dog whistle, Delirious destroyed his former friends Hallowicked and Frightmare, leading to a successful defense in two straight falls. Now, their next threat comes from the two youngest members of The Future Is Now: Helios & Jimmy “Equinox” Olsen. This is a huge opportunity for Helios and Olsen; Helios has not tasted a big Chikara victory in over two years. Helios is at the top of his game, and all it takes to secure a pinfall is one 630 Splash and a three count.  Jimmy is in a rut after two years of unprecedented success. In 2008, he won both the Torneo Cibernetico & La Lotería Letal tournament, and the beginning of 2009 saw him become the eleventh Young Lions Cup champion. Since losing the cup, he has fallen off considerably. This is his chance to ascend once again. The key to victory, however, will be found in whether The Future Is Now have adequately prepared for the contest. Translation: unless Helios and Equinox show up with the tecnicos in tow, it could be a short night.

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Yikes. This is the word that comes to mind when considering the fate of Player Dos as he attempts to do what no other wrestler on the roster has done: beat the mighty Tursas. Heck, the Bruderschaft’s dominant big man has yet to be knocked down in a wrestling ring, so Dos finding a way to get Tursas off his feet would be a minor miracle. This appears to be yet another breezy win for the giant, but in the long run, these lopsided confrontations could be the very thing that spells doom for the BDK. You see, the Bruderschaft began by fight the founders and faces of Chikara: Quack, UltraMantis, Kingston, The Colony, Hallowicked, and their various understudies. It has been a manageable endeavor made easier thanks to the sheer volume of its members. However, as they draw the ire of more and more tecnicos on the Chikara roster, they begin to show cracks. They are no longer bullet proof. As teams like The Osirian Portal and the Throwbacks become more and more involved in the fight, the BDK will find their fall to be the same folly as all greater superpowers: not knowing when enough is enough. Dos may not beat Tursas, but if he decides to give him a post-match big splash as he is arrogantly prone to do, he may find yet another impassioned enemy in the fight to rid Chikara of the Bruderschaft.

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I’ve already established that 3.0 and F.I.S.T. do not care for one another, so I’ll let 3.0’s Shane Matthews spin his yarn that I’ve taken from his Chikara Pro blog post. “Boy, do I feel pumped. I’m feelin’ really pumped. I woke up this morning, hopped outta my big, bad bed and fixed myself up a 10-egg omelette. But was I done? Oh no. Not by a long shot. I packed 6 pieces of cheese singles into that piece o’ business, chopped up some onions, some red bell peppers and some bacon. Yeah. That’s right. BACON. You boys think we’re a joke? Lemme tell ya something Icarus, Taylor. The last thing that thought I was a joke was that omelette and now it’s in my stomach! We’re comin’ to Cleveland, boys! Shane Matthews! YES! Scott The Jagged Parker! YES! 3.0! The freedom fighters of CHIKARA!”

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On the surface, a match between Player Uno and Johnny Gargano feels more-or-less like an exhibition. With Uno in the tag division in the Super Smash Brothers and Gargano not a regular roster member, the best each could hope is a earning a spot in the upcoming Young Lions Cup VIII tourney with a decisive win. However, the ever chatty Gargano is apparently intrigued by one of Chikara’s strongest trios. He showed up in the entrance way wearing one of their shirts on King of Trios: Night 2 and spoke about them on one of his many social network sites. “Ya’know, I’ve been watching more and more CHIKARA stuff lately.” He said on his Facebook page. “I really dig FIST’s style, yo. These guys MAY be the best Trio I’ve ever seen… But, you know… something just doesn’t seem like it fits. Hmm, I guess even the best Trio has a weakest link.” Gargano has a lot to prove if he thinks he can usurp someone’s spot in F.I.S.T. Just as important…who does Gargano think is the weak link? You can bet that Johnny will find a microphone in his hands at some points, and perhaps he’ll make his intentions known.

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- The Aniversario Shows are out now at Smart Mark Video! Buy them and that rash should heal right up!

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- Mike Quackenbush was officially announced on the developer’s production blog as a playable character in the upcoming Chikara video game “Rudo Resurrection”. If this surprises you in the slightest…then you don’t know QUACK. Ha! Get it? IT’S HUMOR!

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- Claudio Castagnoli has World Cup fever! Check out his personal website for his thoughts on every World Cup match as well as various opinions on a variety of subjects. Warning: they can be VERY EUROPEAN. Bah-Ha-Ha! MORE HUMOR!

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- My take on this whole Bryan Danielson situation: its sucks. It sucks that the WWE basically had to fire him, based on reports. It sucks that I won’t be able to see him wrestle every week. It sucks that he won’t be a part of the NXT faction. It sucks that the WWE feels they need to be PG. It sucks that, financially, they’re probably right. It sucks that the WWE couldn’t find a compromise. It sucks that they didn’t go to bat for a future superstar. It sucks that he could end up in TNA. It just sucks. Hopefully, this is all a work and I can laugh about this Tuesday. The chances thin with every passing day. Danielson will be back soon enough, and I hope it’s in the WWE where he can ply his trade in front of the largest audience possible.

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- Please leave any comments or questions you might have and I’ll do my best to respond with as much colloquial Irish gossip as I can conjure. I’d like to do a contest or something cool like that, but I’m not sure how much interest there’d be. Let you voice be heard! Also, let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see in the column, like fantasy booking, treasure hunts, wish-lists, secret handshakes, etc.

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In this week’s edition of CHIKARMY Insider, I first take a look at the charismatic cartel from Chicago, The Soul Touchaz. They are returning to Chikara this month and I provide a rundown of their group plus several of their highlights so you can better know The Soul Touchaz. As usual, thanks to everyone who edited and/or uploaded the videos you see here; I can take no credit, nor would I if I thought I could get away with it…which I’m pretty sure I could. Speaking of Chikara shows this month, Chikara has shows this month, and I’ll catch you up on all the event updates you missed. They take place in the daunting, werewolf-laden Midwest. That’s all I know about the eastern portion of the Midwest: it is daunting and has many varieties of werewolves. Encyclopedia Britannica says so, and I think it’s in the Bible somewhere. I’m gonna go check. *checks* Hah, found it: Genesis 1:28½ = “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth…but don’t do it in the eastern portion of the Midwest. They got mad werewolf problems, ya dig?” I’d scan the page for extra proof, but I’m pretty sure reproducing the Bible is one of the 72 deadly sins. Enjoy the read and continue to support trees. We need trees.

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UGOMAIMEBUIMESUM!

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The Soul Touchaz is an elite collection of athletes known for their awesome entrance, varied & entertaining personalities and being hard hitting, high flying masters of squared circle. Among their ranks are “The Urban Sensation” C. Red, the group’s fearless & peerless manager, “The Urban American Dream” Willie “Da Bomb” Richardson, who is so awesome he has TWO nicknames, “Mr.M-80″ Marshe Rockett, the master of the M-80 Ace Crusher, “Hott Chocolate” Acid Jaz, back to full strength and better than ever, “The Ghetto Gladiator” Trauma, the newest member of the group and “The Urban Jewel” Dymond. They have a varied fan base that isn’t just limited to spectators. Some wrestlers are also fans, too. Here are some matches featuring the members doing what they do best! Also, if you’re confused by the title…just Google it dumb-dumb. For Your Health~!

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- Here is their first appearance in Chikara, as Acid Jaz, Marshe Rockett and Willie Richardson would oppose Sombra, Xtremo & Kobra Kai in the Opening Round of the 2008 King of Trios tournament.

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- Their second appearance in Chikara would on the same night, as the trio would fight Team F.I.S.T. in the Second Round. This performance would be the catalyst for their immense fan support within Chikara Pro.

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- With Acid Jaz out due to a severe leg injury, the trio of Rockett, Big Willie and Trauma would enter the 2009 Trios tourney and take on Team CZW in the first round. When CZW wrestler Greg Excellent called for “his music” with the Soul Touchaz newest member in the ring, Trauma proved he belonged in Chikara in quite a hilarious way.

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- After losing to The UnStable on Night 2 of the 2009 King of Trios tournament, Marshe Rockett and Willie Richardson showed in the annual Night 3 tag Gauntlet. Here is their portion, featuring action against Mitch Ryder & Pinkie Sanchez and the Young Bucks.

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- Here’s a non-Chikara match featuring Jimmy Jacobs & Tyler Black, formerly of The Age of the Fall, taking on Marshe Rockett and Acid Jaz in an Open Challenge Match.

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- At SSW’s Headlock on Hunger 5, Willie Richardson & Trauma faced off against D-Nytemare & Malek Avalon in front of a crowd just packed with yappy children. They…HATE…The Soul Touchaz. It’s pretty hilarious, unless you have kids. In that event, you might find it pretty annoying. I don’t have kids, so I laughed extremely hard at some of their comments.

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- Finally, an awesome and very recent promo featuring C. Red and his soldiers explaining what you can expect when they show up to the CLPW Tag Team Tournament, which just happened to take place last weekend! The Soul Touchaz didn’t win though, with Willie and Jaz getting knocked out in the second round by the eventual winners.

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Much to the delight of the Chikara faithful, the affable and agile collective known as The Soul Touchaz have returned to Chikara! They last appeared in a Chikara ring at King of Trios 2009, where they were able to beat Team CZW in an insanely entertaining opening round contest. They would lose to The UnStable in the following round and in the tag gauntlet on Night 3, but they had once again shown why they garner such praise. However, that may not have been the strongest version of the Soul Touchaz they would have put in play. Marshe Rockett, Willie “Da Bomb” Richardson, and Trauma made up that trio, as Trauma was there to replace the injured Acid Jaz. The trio of Jaz, Rockett and Big Willie was the first version of the Soul Touchaz to compete at King of Trios, almost beating F.I.S.T. at the 2008 event in a much-lauded contest. Fans wanted them back, and they’ve been on at least two Chikara cards every year since. Originally, this was supposed to be a rematch with F.I.S.T. from said show, but plans change and the match was scrapped. Instead, Jazz, Rockett and Big Willie will face off against this year’s King of Trios champions, the Bruderschaft Leaders. Claudio Castagnoli, Ares, and Tursas steamrolled the competition and will forever be a part of Chikara lore. Now The Soul Touchaz, under the guidance of manager “The Urban Sensation” C. Red and “The Urban Jewel” Dymond, will attempt to do what no trio in the competition could: beat this BDK team.

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It’s Chikara most recent edition and one of its youngest members, Green Ant, against a Chikara legend and one of the oldest men still walking this Earth, Darkness Crabtree. He tried to sneak his way into last year’s Young Lions Cup tournament under the name Bret “Restle” Race, but anagram lovers figured out his ruse quite quickly and he was rejected. Come to think of it, he was responsible for the entrance of Tim Donst as Vökoder, who ultimately stole the Eye of Tyr from Mantis and helped ignite the Chikara vs. BDK Wars currently going on. Huh. I don’t know what else to say other than…YYYYYEAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Whether this has something to do the big feud or the new Chikara video game is irrelevant to me at this point. It’s Crabtree in twenty ten, so I’m stoked. Here’s a music video featuring Mr. Crabtree during the highs and lows of his Chikara career. Also, here’s another video featuring his now legendary series of matches against the debuting Lance Steel. If you don’t find any of this stuff funny then I’m sorry I pulled you away from your “According to Jim” reruns.

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They are both former holders of the Campeonatos de Parejas and both teams would like to return to their former glory. The Super Smash Brothers, following a whirlwind rise to the top of the Chikara Mountain, won the straps back in 2008, ending the nearly year-long reign of Hallowicked and Delirious in the process. However, they would lose exactly four weeks later in their first attempted defense to the Osirian Portal, and they would hold the belts for only two days less than Incoherence did before finally being beaten by Fire Ant and Soldier Ant. The Colony failed in their bid to surpass the Incoherence record for most successful defenses thanks to Claudio, Ares, and a lot of outside help from the rest of the Bruderschaft. Both these teams have scores to settle with the BDK, as The Colony lost their belts to them, but the SSB both lost Young Lions Cup title matches to Tim Donst. Neither team currently holds a point towards a tag title shot, so a win here would put either team back on the road to gold.

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According to Wikipedia, which is the greatest source of fast and accurate information, rubbernecking “describes the act of gawking at something of interest. It is often used to refer to drivers trying to view the carnage resulting from a traffic accident. The term refers to the craning of a person’s neck in order to get a better view.” What does this have to do with anything? Eddie Kingston versus Tim Donst is Chikara Pro’s version of wrestling rubbernecking: no matter how you feel about Chikara, most independent wrestling fans have either seen or heard of the legendary beatings “The Last of a Dying Breed” has laid on young Donst. It is a perverse and devilish pleasure that wrestling fans eagerly partake of, and the contests can aptly be likened to a one-sided car crash. Make no mistake about it: Tim Donst owes Eddie Kingston a world of thanks for delivering that whooping and making a high school kid the talk of the independent world for a brief amount of time. To be fair, it just put Donst in the driver’s seat…it was Donst himself who drove that car to success, as he is the current Young Lions Cup champion. However, the first two beatings that Kingston delivered were without direct motivation. Eddie Kingston destroyed Tim Donst because…he’s Eddie Kingston. It’s what he does. Eddie has had a rough year thanks to the BDK: a loss to Tursas thanks to Claudio interference, a loss to Lince Dorado due to blatant cheating, and the Bruderschaft even interfered on his match against one of his idols, Tommy Dreamer, for no real reason at all other than to screw with him. But in facing Donst, he may have found a release for all that angers him…or he may just find more frustration. Tim Donst does not wear a mask. He is not four hundred pounds. Kingston feels no pressure in facing him. All the pitfalls that befuddled “God’s Middle Child” in his previous BDK encounter have evaporated. It’s just going to be Eddie vs. Tim. And like the two times before, you can expect purple necks, wobbly knees and a loss of conscience. Whether that once again describes Donst or perhaps a beaten Kingston may rest on whether Claudio Castagnoli and the BDK decided to come together and ruin Kingston’s life once again.

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As if facing the 2010 King of Trios champions wasn’t hard enough, Acid Jaz, Marshe Rockett & Willie “Da Bomb” Richardson will have to face the runners up on the same weekend! Fire Ant, Soldier Ant and Green Ant will oppose The Soul Touchaz in their first trios match since losing in the finals of the 2010 King of Trios to the Bruderschaft. This match could very well have occurred in the Trios tournament had Team Oreo not defeated The Soul Touchaz in the Jack of All Trios tourney, securing themselves a first round match against The Colony in the big competition. The Soul Touchaz will be out to prove that they deserved to be in the big tournament and shouldn’t have been subjected to the tribulations of the smaller one. Both teams are fan favorites, so there are no losers here…other than fans who don’t attend the shows or buy the DVDs. Those people are DEAD to me…deader than Raven’s career. Deader than a proposed storyline revolving around Shelton Benjamin in the WWE. Deader than the aura that surrounded Hulk Hogan. Deader than…dead things. *GONG*

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Originally scheduled for Absolute Intense Wrestling’s Jack of All Trios weekend, this match had to be cancelled due to an ankle injury Mike Quackenbush suffered during the Phoenix DGUSA shows. As it turns out, the match shouldn’t have been cancelled as much as postponed, as the contest is back on, this time scheduled to take place in a Chikara ring! Quack will team with Frightmare to take on the two members of the BDK Lions team that were not pinned on King of Trios weekend: Pinkie Sanchez and Lince Dorado. It was the main event of Night 2 that saw The Colony beat the BDK Lions unit of Sanchez, Dorado, and Tim Donst, and it was the first time that anyone or any group had truly beaten a member or members of the Bruderschaft. However, it was Donst who took the fall, tapping to the Chikara Special. At the Aniversario events the next month, Pinkie and Lince would also suffer their first losses as Bruderschaft members: Dorado was pinned by Helios in a tag match at Aniversario Zehn while Sanchez was pinned by Jigsaw in an eight-man tag at Aniversario Elf. Frightmare also had a rough Aniversario weekend, taking both falls against Claudio Castagnoli and Ares in a match for the Campeonatos de Parejas. In fact, the only combatant in the match that has any real momentum is Quackenbush, who has been on fire ever since he, Frightmare and Hallowicked lost their opening round contest on Night 1 of King of Trios. Sanchez and Dorado will be looking to score an upset over Team Frightning, while Quackenbush will be looking to put together another team with which he can go after Claudio, Ares, and the Chikara Tag Team Titles!

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- Please leave any comments or questions you might have and I’ll do my best to respond with as much colloquial Irish gossip as I can conjure. I’d like to do a contest or something cool like that, but I’m not sure how much interest there’d be. Let you voice be heard! Also, let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see in the column, like fantasy booking, treasure hunts, wish-lists, secret handshakes, etc.

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King of Trios 2010 (Night 2)

April 24, 2010 ~ Philadelphia, PA

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- My DVD Review of King of Trios (Night 1)

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- My interview with “Very European” Claudio Castagnoli

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Eight Semifinal Teams

1. Bruderschaft Leaders – Claudio Castagnoli, Ares and Tursas

2. Bruderschaft Lions – Lince Dorado, Tim Donst and Pinkie Sanchez

3. F.I.S.T. – Gran Akuma, Chuck Taylor and Icarus

4. Team Big Japan – Daisuke Sekimoto, Kankuro Hoshino and Yuji Okabayashi

5. Team Osaka Pro – Atsushi Kotoge, Daisuke Harada and Tadasuke

6. Team Perros Del Mal – Alebrije, Cuije and El Oriental

7. The Colony – Fire Ant, Soldier Ant and Green Ant

8. The Future Is Now – Jigsaw, Jimmy “Equinox” Olsen and Helios

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1. Open Challenge Match: Brodie Lee vs. Grizzly Redwood – *1/4

Brodie Lee comes out and issues an open challenge, so it’s an Open Challenge Match. It’s simple. Grizzly Friggin’ Redwood answers the call! He’s Brodie’s former tag partner who got laid out by Lee the last time he was in Philly. Grizz applies a sleep hold early, but he is shoved off.  Grizzly continues to assault Brodie, but he gets nailed with a nasty chop. Brodie works over Redwood as the crowd gets behind The Grizz. Brodie lays into Grizz with chops and punches. Grizzly counters a slam and chops Brodie out of the ring. Lee tries to reenter but Redwood hits a baseball slide and a huge dive to the outside! Back inside, Grizzly goes for the top rope double axe handle, but Brodie catches and slam him with a swinging sideslam! Oh my! Grizzly ducks a roaring lariat, and eats the Big Boot!  1…2…3! Brodie Lee demolishes his former friend in awesome fashion. This gets extra love for Grizzly selling out the door and that AMAZING swinging side slam, but it was undoubtedly a squash.

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2. Semifinal Match: Team Big Japan vs. The Future Is Now – ****

Kankuro Hoshino, Yuji Okabayashi & Daisuke Sekimoto shocked the Chikara fans by besting Team Frightning in the opening round while The Future is Now managed to best The Jackson 3 in a Who Can Do The Most Flips Match. I love TFIN in styles clash matches, so I’d expect this to be good. Jigsaw and Sekimoto start, and the smile is already on my face. Colin Delaney on commentary can’t even bring me down. It’s power vs. speed, and it ends in a stalemate and a round of applause. Hoshino versus Helios tells the same story. Equinox takes on Okabayashi, and Colin continues to say really dumb stuff on commentary. Okabayashi is double teamed by Jimmy and Helios, getting two off of a hurricanrana to a kneeling Yuji. Okabayashi counters with a big powerslam, and Team Big Japan goes to work on Olsen. They work over his arm and body, with Sekimoto hitting the most painful-looking standard suplex I’ve ever seen. Equinox hits several elbows on Okabayashi and gets the tag to Jigsaw, who takes it to Okabayashi. Jigsaw wiggles free from a torture rack and drills Yuki with a top rope double stomp. 1…2…Okabayashi kicks out. Jigsaw off the ropes…HUGE lariat from Okabayashi! Folding Powerbomb on Jigsaw! 1…2…Helios breaks up the pinfall. Helios goes up top, but Okabayashi cut him off. Jigsaw stops Okabayashi, and it looks like Jigsaw is going to try a double German suplex! He’s not strong enough, but Daisuke Sekimoto grabs his waist from behind! TRIPLE GERMAN SUPLEX!!!!! THE BUILDING IMPLODES!!! Jimmy drops Sekimoto with a missile dropkick and hits Hoshino with a big elbow as the crowd recovers from what they just saw. Hoshino drops Olsen with a palm strike, a corner splash and a second-rope senton! 1…2…Jigsaw stops the count. Jigsaw hits a leaping enzuigiri to Hoshino that sends him to the floor. Sekimoto and Jigsaw square off and Jigsaw throws every strike he has at him. Sekimoto is unaffected! Sick elbows from Daisuke. He goes for the Deadlift German, but Jigsaw blocks, allowing Equinox to land a knockout punch! Superkick from Jigsaw! 630 Splash from Helios! 1…SEKIMOTO KICKS OUT AT ONE!!! Equinox and Jigsaw dive to the outside onto Hoshino and Okabayashi! Helios tries to hit the Sasuke Special, but Sekimoto catches him in mid-air! BRIDGING GERMAN SUPLEX! 1…2…3! Team Big Japan advances in a crazy, crazy match. Truthfully, this was an okay match that was booked remarkably well. The action in the beginning and middle was good, but it was the three INSANE spots that made this must-see for Chikara and all other wrestling fans. Daisuke Sekimoto adds to his legend. A proper singles match between Sekimoto and Castagnoli would be most desirable.

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3. RDV Eliminator #1: Amasis vs. Matt Cross vs. Flip Kendrick vs. Malachi Jackson - *3/4

This is the “tournament with a tournament” for the best high flyers in the world, the Rey de Voladores, wherein the survivors of the two Elimination Matches go to the finals. Last year, the Eliminators were amazing. Since you really don’t want your smaller tourney showing up your bigger one, I expect these to be toned down. Unfortunately, Amasis has to work with the two worst wrestlers in their respective Night 1 matches, Malachi and Flip, and an overrated gymnast in Matt Cross. I don’t expect to love this. Amasis and Malachi start and Jackson basically does what he did to begin last night’s main event. Either that or I’m having flashbacks from that horrendous contest. Flip and Matt Cross go at it, with Cross getting the better of Flip. He does that feint dive that Kofi Kingston stole to screw with Kendrick and the move highlights just how awful Matt’s hair is. Why isn’t Mdogg20 in his Spartan character? He’s much more amusing that way. Cross ducks an Amasis springboard and hits the dive he faked right before. Malachi jumps on Amasis but eats a clothesline that he SELL LIKE A ****ING IDIOT. Just like Night 1, Malapuke cowers at EVERY strike like a frightened child. There are many worse wrestlers out there, but outside of his attire, Malachi is most left unscathed and I don’t understand why. He is blatantly, consistently, almost purposefully bad. Cross dumps Amasis and enters to wail on Malachi, so he’s my new hero. Flip reenters and the three men in the ring do a sloppy sequence that was actually kind cool. Amasis returns and hits a tombstone facebuster on Flip. 1…2…Kendrick kicks out. Malachi hits a modified stunner and a single-leg dropkick for two. COLIN IS ON COMMENTARY DOING THE ****ING JACKSON JOKES AGAIN. Lord, beer me strength. Cross dumps Malachi and “hits” his Sasuke Special to the outside and then does the Pee Wee Herman dance on the guardrail. More of this Matt Cross please. Flip goes up top and does his crazy dive onto everyone but Matt, who moves. Kendrick and Amasis are trading nice strikes, and Kendrick hits Human Tornado’s DND on Amasis! Flip goes for some standing flippy thing and Cross just shoves him away in mid-air and covers Amasis! Nice! 1…2…Malachi breaks it up. He hits an overdrive on Cross for two and that is just random as hell. Amasis beats the tar outta Kendrick & Jackson, hitting a Busaiku knee on Flip as he DDTs Malachi. Big high roundhouse kick on Flip puts him down and both Cross & Amasis head to the top rope. Cross hits an SSP and Amasis hits the 450 Splash! 1…2…3! Malachi Jackson & Flip Kendrick are both eliminated in a pretty great spot. Winner here gets to the finals, and Colin is cheering for Cross. They trade strikes and Amasis hits That Move I Beat Moses With, the greatest name for a move ever! 1…2…Cross kicks out! Twist of Funk from Amasis! 1…2…NO! Cross kicks out again! Amasis runs the ropes and gets caught with a release German suplex! Buzzsaw kick from Cross! 1…2…Amasis kicks out! Cross hits an enzuigiri from the apron and his springboard double stomp to the back of Amasis. Instead of dragging him to the other side of the ring, Cross decides to pose for the crowd, meaning Amasis has to do the work for Matt and roll to the other side. Wow. Cross then botches a moonsault double stomp and hits a standing SSP for the win. Matt Cross advances to the Night 3 Finals. *vomits* Just an awful display of “high-flying action” and I can’t help but feel bad for Amasis. He deserves a lot better than this gaggle of goobers and was clearly a level above everyone in this match. There were very few parts that didn’t completely suck, but outside of the immediate ending, the Amasis/Cross portion was pretty good. If the goal was to devalue the RDV and make KOT look amazing by comparison…MISSION ACCOMPLISHED BANNER.

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4. Semifinal Match: Team Perros Del Mal vs. Bruderschaft Leaders – ***1/4

Team Perros Del Mal cut a promo, but Cuije doesn’t speak, so I don’t care. The three luchadors beat Team Delicioso in the first round while the BDK Leaders bested the makeshift unit of The Osirian Portal and the BDK’s own Sara Del Rey. Man, Alebrije is a big dude. He’s just about the size of Tursas. How did I not notice this on Night One? Claudio and El Oriental start things off, with Oriental trying to lucha and Claudio making it quite clear he is uninterested. Ares comes in to assist but Oriental dodges him and tricks them into hitting Tursas. Double takedown followed by a double armdrag! Oriental hits a Déjà Vu like armdrag on Claudio, sending him outside. Alebrije and Tursas face off for the first time, but Tursas just pushes him out of the ring. That was anticlimactic. Alebrije returns and tries to slam him, but Tursas delivers one of his own. Claudio enters and little Cuije sinks his claws into his derrière. Cuije distracts Claudio, allowing Alebrije to hit a missile dropkick for two. Alebrije hits Ares with a modified spinning headlock elbow drop and he grabs Cuije for a double leg drop! Cuije and Alebrije pose, but Tursas attacks from behind. The BDK targets the damaged Alebrije with perhaps the nastiest corner whip I’ve ever seen. It sounds ridiculous but it’s totally true. Cuije comes in to attack but they beat him down. Tursas just crushes him with a mid kick in the corner, scrapes him off the bottom of his shoe and they go to work on Oriental. He dodges a Tursas splash and sends Claudio outside with a satellite armdrag. He and Alebrije hit a double dropkick on Ares, but Tursas takes Alebrije out with a big lariat and covers Oriental after a big front slam. 1…2…Cuije breaks it up! He all alone with the BDK and Tursas just kicks him out of the ring. Alebrije fight all three guys off, sending Claudio and Ares to the floor. He revs the engine and hits a suicide dive onto both guys. Oriental stumbles for a moment but eventually hits a moonsault to the floor on Ares & Claudio! Cuije is left alone against Tursas! He tries leg kicks, but they are useless. Tursas insinuates he’s going to toss him into the crowd, but he hits front kick that kills the tiny Cuije instead. He’s not done! BIG SPLASH ON CUIJE! 1…2…3. The Bruderschaft Leaders advance to the next round. This was basically a match to get a ton of heat on the Bruderschaft, and man did it work. Alebrije sold Cuije’s death brilliantly, really driving home his love for the little guy. Once again, no matter how I feel about him as a performer, I respect the hell out of El Oriental for getting on his plane and honoring his commitment despite the wishes of Jorge “Dead to Me” Rivera. Actually, Oriental looked pretty good here. Fun match overall.

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5. Special Singles Match: Christopher Daniels vs. Hallowicked – ***

Daniels cuts a fantastic promo to start us off in this surprise singles contest. Daniels and Hallowicked start the feeling off process, with some solid lucha and mat work. Nice to see Hallowicked get this opportunity. Hallowicked continues to counter the much more experienced Daniels admirably, sending him outside with an armdrag. Daniels does some innocent stalling and the fans start to boo. He works them a bit, showing the subtlety of a true veteran. How this talented a guy never made it in the WWE is just absurd. He reenters and locks up with Daniels once again.  Once again, ‘Wicked sends him to the floor and he jaws a little with fans, with more and more slowly turning on him. Daniels comes back in again and offers Hallowicked a hand. Hallowicked tries to but Daniels just slaps him instead, completing this great heel turn. Hallowicked charges and Daniels stops him with a huge boot. “Fallen Angel” stomps away at ‘Wicked and hits his trademark leg lariat, scoring himself one in the win column. He hits a modified reverse DDT for two. He continues to work over Hallowicked’s neck. Daniels loses momentum for a second but takes it back when he starts clawing at ‘Wicked’s mask. He chokes him on the ropes and hits a second rope elbow and berates the ref. The chants of “Hallowicked” have overtaken those of Daniels. He continues to choke Hallowicked. He hits a nice quebrada for two and continues to argue with Papagiorgio. Hallowicked ducks a clothesline and hits Go 2 Sleepy Hollow! Both men get back to their feet and ‘Wicked takes it to Daniels. Hallowicked hits a corner face kick and covers. 1…2…Daniels kicks out. Someone tries to start a TNA chant and gets boos. Nice. Daniels gets clotheslined to the floor and Hallowicked hits a bad looking suicide dive to take both guys out. Hallowicked goes north but Daniels cuts him off and hits Fall From Grace! 1…2…Hallowicked kicks out! Daniels hits a charging knee and a Death Valley Driver! 1…2…Hallowicked kicks out again. Hallowicked blocks Angels Wings and hits a slick Yakuza kick! 1…2…Daniels gets his foot on the ropes. ‘Wicked goes for the Graveyard Smash, but Daniels pulls Papagiorgio into Hallowicked and nails a standing uranage! BEST…MOONSAULT…EVER! 1…2…3! Christopher Daniels wins a really fun match. It’s been said before and it’ll be said again: Daniels is a consummate professional. His fairly quick build to a heel was executed very well. Hallowicked look fantastic outside of the poor dive, and proved that he belonged in the same ring as a veteran such as the “Fallen Angel”. People complain about Daniels and his inability to kick things into gear, but this was the perfect post intermission match.

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6. Semifinal Match: F.I.S.T. vs. Team Osaka Pro – ****

Last year’s champions F.I.S.T. beat The Throwbacks to advance while Atsushi Kotoge, Daisuke Harada and Tadasuke shocked The UnStable with a big win. Kotoge and Taylor start off and Chuck requests silence from the crowd. Kotoge obliterates Chuck with one of the fastest running dropkicks I’ve ever seen and it’s Icarus and Tadasuke. Icarus eats a few really hard chops and begins to cry. He is consoled by his teammates. It’s all very sweet. Harada and Akuma now, and they trade really hard strikes. Daisuke wins the battle with an elbow strike and in comes Kotoge. Team Osaka make multiple tags and work over Akuma in their corner. Taylor trips up Tadasuke and Akuma hits a buzzsaw kick to ground Team Osaka’s biggest member. F.I.S.T. isolates Tadasuke in their corner. Very strangely, Johnny Gargano is sitting in the aisle way with a F.I.S.T. shirt on. Icarus goes for a Pedigree, but Tadasuke turns it into a backdrop, runs Ick into the Osaka corner and makes a double tag to his partners! They destroy Icarus with a gamengiri and spear combination and turn their attention to the other members of F.I.S.T. They use a flurry of tag moves to dispose of F.I.S.T., finally hitting a bridging suplex & springboard splash combo on Chuck! 1…2…Taylor kicks out. They continue the onslaught on Chuck with a superkick from Kotoge, spinebuster from Tadasuke and a diving elbow drop from Harada! 1…2…Icarus & Akuma break it up. They target Kotoge, but he ducks a double clothesline and dive out onto Chuck and ends up in the front row! Harada hits a running corner elbow on Icarus and hits a corner belly-to-belly suplex on Akuma that sends him crashing onto his own partner! He covers Akuma! 1…2…Akuma kicks out. Harada goes after Icarus but eats a DVD instead. Frog Splash from Gran Akuma! 1…2…Tadasuke breaks up the count. Tadasuke hits a stalling suplex on Akuma but Icarus breaks up the count. Harada hits a disgusting Biel toss into a knee strike! Bridging North Lights Suplex! 1…2…Taylor breaks it up. Kotoge dumps Chuck Taylor but gets caught on the apron by Akuma. Akuma runs the ropes and gets caught with a rolling ace crusher. Kotoge sets up for a moonsault, but Icarus low bridges him. F.I.S.T. sets up for Shooty McGee, but they screw it up and Chuck just hits Kotoge with a standing Blood Fall onto the knees of Gran Akuma and Icarus hops off the top and covers. 1…2…Kotoge kicks out. Considering they’ve teased dissention in F.I.S.T. and Gargano’s in the aisle way, this actually works really well storyline-wise. Tadasuke obliterates Taylor with a lariat. Icarus hits the Shiranui on Tadasuke. Harada hits a nice standing overhead belly-to-belly on Icarus. Akuma hits a spike Complete Shot on Harada and heads to the top, but Kotoge meets him there. SPANISH FLY ON AKUMA! 1…2…NO! Akuma kicks out! Osaka tries to triple team but F.I.S.T. turns the tables with a triplet corner kicks on Tadasuke. Akuma hits a chest kick, Taylor hits a Yakuza and Icarus hits a lung blower! That’s how they beat The Throwbacks! 1…2…TADASUKE KICKS OUT! Icarus hits a suicide dive on Kotoge! Akuma hits a flying DDT to the outside on Harada! Taylor hits Sole Food and goes for the Awful Waffle…but Tadasuke turns it into a roll-up with a fistful of tights! 1…2…3~! Team Osaka Pro upsets the defending champions! This was bell to bell action and I loved every second. No prolonged heat segments or stalling or anything truly frustrating; just unyielding, action-packed mayhem. I flirted with a higher rating, but a few miscues brought it down slightly. It’s still must-see and the best match of the tournament thus far.

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7. RDV Eliminator #2: Frightmare vs. Ophidian vs. Cheech vs. Rich Swann – ***1/2

I hated the first RDV match, so the bar is set almost absurdly low. This is Cheech’s first Chikara appearance since OCTOBER…of 1994. Yeah. This is also Ophidian’s first non-tag match since November and Rich Swann’s first Chikara match since…ever. He’s bringing major energy, and I like it. He does a silly, late-90’s hand signal, and he’s back to square one with me. Frightmare gets the biggest response, and a win by anyone else will surely elicit boos. Cheech and Ophidian trade come cool lucha pinfalls and come to a momentary stalemate before Ophidian wisely sends Cheech outside. Frightmare enters and step-up ranas Ophidian out, allowing Rich Swann to enter. Frightmare backflips to dodge a clothesline and hits a neckbreaker for an early two. Swann sends Frights to the apron and knocks him off with a Yakuza kick. Swann turns into a Thesz Press from Cheech, but he shoves him out of the ring and follows him out with a moonsault into an armdrag on the floor! It’s Frightmare and Ophidian once again, and this time it’s Ophidian getting the better with a second rope hurricanrana. Ophidian then slides out and headscissors Cheech on the floor! Frightmare follows to the outside with a no-hands flip dive onto them both and Rich Swann hits a second rope twisting senton onto everybody! Swann rolls in Frightmare and, after trading reversals, hits a hip toss backbreaker, a rolling fireman’s carry slam and a standing moonsault. 1…2…Frightmare kicks out. Ophidian eats a sole butt kick from Swann and Rich hits QD3! 1…2…Ophidian kicks out! Swann calls for his signature Standing 450 Splash, but eats knees! Kneecolepsy from Frightmare! 1…2…3. Rich Swann is eliminated and the crowd seems a little disappointed. Cheech hits a double stunner on Ophidian and Frightmare getting two counts on both men. Cheech is dumped to the floor by Frightmare but Ophidian hits him with an awesome handstand code breaker and Cheech follows with a 619 from the floor! Ophidian tries to hit a hurricanrana to the floor on Ophidian, but Cheech catches him. POWERBOMB ON THE GUARDRAIL! Cheech rolls in quickly to cover Frightmare. 1…2…Frightmare kicks out. Cheech hits a lunging corner spear and a fisherman’s suplex for another two. He calls for The Deluxe, but Frightmare counters into a satellite DDT. 1…2…Cheech kicks out. Cheech comes back with a sloppy looking Noshigami for two. Cheech heads to the top rope but is stopped by Ophidian. Frightmare charges but runs into Ophidian. Cheech tries a cartwheel into a superkick, but Frightmare evades and turns it into a crucifix bomb! 1…2…Cheech kicks out! Cheech sends Frights out with a high knee and Ophidian enters. Déjà Vu Prawn Hold on Cheech! 1…2…3! Cheech is eliminated. Ophidian immediately launches himself into Frightmare on the outside with a crazy plancha! They trade stiff strikes on the outside. Ophidian leaps to the guardrail and hits a moonsault onto Frightmare! They get back to their feet and Ophidian tries a handstand rana, but Frightmare counters into a modified Go 2 Sleepy Hollow! They finally make it back inside, where Frightmare hits a leaping MADE IN JAPAN! 1…2…Ophidian kicks out! They continue to trade hard strikes, and Frightmare hits a leg trip. Ophidian avoids the Kneecolepsy and turns it into a reverse hurricanrana! SPIN KICK TO FRIGHTMARE’S FACE! 1…2…Frightmare kicks out. Frightmare counters a corner charge with a boot and a cartwheel into a leaping enzuigiri. He tries a rana, but Ophidian counters and hits a roundhouse kick. Ophidian runs the ropes and eats a sick spike rana! 1…2…Ophidian kicks out! Ophidian and Frightmare exchange a really convoluted series of reversals and Frightmare hits the Kneecolepsy. 1…2…NO. Ophidian kicks out…somehow. Little ridiculous if you ask me. Ophidian hits the Duat Driver and Frightmare kicks out at two. Ophidian drops Frightmare with a roundhouse kick and hits quebrada variation, but his midsection is too inured and he can’t cover. A lot of fans groan at this, a sign that maybe the match should be over by now. Ophidian hits a Death Grip Suplex! 1…2…FRIGHTMARE KICKS OUT AGAIN! Frightmare climbs to the top to follow Ophidian, where Ophidian nails the Avalanche Egyptian Destroyer for the win. Ophidian advances to face Matt Cross tomorrow night in a really long match. Don’t get me wrong; they did some top shelf stuff. It was a crazy fun match…but it went on a bit too long. This probably would’ve received the same rating if they had ended four minutes sooner, but it doesn’t lose anything either. Still, this was everything the first RDV Eliminator wasn’t and totally makes up for that crapfest.

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8. Semifinal Match: The Colony vs. Bruderschaft Lions – ***3/4

Tim Donst, Lince Dorado & Pinkie Sanchez beat the fan favorite F1RST Family to make it to the Night 2 main event while The Colony beat Jack of All Trios winner Team Oreo to advance. The BDK guys cut a good promo before the match, mainly because Donst does the talking. When the match begins, they try to jump the Colony, but the Ants avoid it and all three hit suicide dives! They are brawling all over the arena floor. Donst and Sanchez toss Green Ant into the ringpost and he goes limp. Donst rolls him inside and pins him. 1…2…Fire Ant breaks it up. Fire and Soldier keep rescuing Green Ant only to be tossed soon after. The three men hit a superkick & double Russian legsweep combination, but turn their backs to celebrate, giving Soldier Ant a chance to enter and take them out. Donst creeps up from behind and plants Soldier with an STO. 1…Soldier Ant kicks out. This is going to be a long one methinks. The traitorous trio targets Soldier Ant, running traffic and working Soldier over with submissions. The fans chant for Donst to put his shirt back on, so he tags in, locks on a leg choke and starts doing sit-ups. He then turns Soldier Ant over, starts doing push-ups and then just plants Soldier Ant on the canvas with his legs. Amazing crowd work here. Pinkie tries to suplex Soldier Ant outside, but Soldier holds on and they both go over the top, allowing Fire Ant to enter the ring! He hits a huge crossbody on Lince and dropkicks him out, but Donst once again sneaks up and hits a big move, this time a Complete Shot. 1…2…Fire Ant kicks out. Donst works over the nipples of Fire Ant…because ants have nipples. The BDK Lions work over Fire Ant now, forcing him to do their signature cross-armed pose and then dropkicking him in the face. Donst hits a Diamond Head like move and Lince hits a standing moonsault. They celebrate instead of going for the pin, and Fire Ant rolls to the floor. However, no Ants are healthy enough to come in. Lince gets on Donst shoulders to do the BDK sign while Pinkie steadies them. The crowd wants him to fall and die. Seriously, they chant this and it’s awesome.  Green Ant pulls himself to his feet and the crowd gets behind him. He starts reeling off some sick headbutts, beating the tar out of all three guys. He tries to lock on his Texas Cloverleaf, but Lince breaks it up. The BDK Lions go for their Doomsday Bulldog but the other Ants stop them and Green Ant gets a victory roll on Donst. 1…2…Donst kicks out. The Colony hits a triple dropkick in the corner, sending Donst to the outside. Ant-apult to the outside on the Bruderschaft! Back inside, Green Ant gives Pinkie Sanchez a wrist-clutch Samoan drop, Donst hits Greenie with a full nelson facebuster, Soldier Ant hits Donst with a Samoan drop, Lince hits Soldier with a Shooting Star Press and reverses a Fire Ant wheelbarrow into a sitout mat slam. He goes for the Lionsault, but Fire Ant kips up and drop kicks him out of the air! All six guys make it to their feet and start trading elbows. Lince and Pinkie are eventually tossed and The Colony gives Donst a triple boot. They set up for the Anthill! However, Lince springboards onto Fire Ant, breaking up the attempt. Donst gets a roll-up with a handful of tights! 1…2…Soldier Ant kicks out. Bulldog from Donst to Soldier Ant, but Soldier comes back with the TKO! 1…2…Donst kicks out. Lince hits a running blockbuster on Soldier Ant for two. Dorado sets up for the SSP once again, but he eats knees when he lands. Fire Ant hits Heat of the Moment and Burning Down the House! BRAINBUSTER! 1…2…Pinkie breaks it up and call for the Burning Snicklefritz. Green Ant stops the move with elbows, but Pinkie turns it into the Inverted Chikara Special! Fire Ant breaks it up and Green Ant locks on the Texas Cloverleaf! Lince breaks it up and places Green Ant on the top rope. He tries for a leaping Spanish Fly, but Green Ant headbutts him off and he lands on Fire Ant. Donst runs to Green Ant and gives him an Avalanche Donstitution! 1…2…No! Green Ant kicks out. Pinkie and Fire Ant fight on the apron and Sanchez teases a Burning Snicklefritz, but Fire Ant blocks it. BEACH BREAK ON THE APRON! Donst is back in with Soldier Ant behind him. Donst counts how many people he sees and realizes he’s an ant short. He turns and eats a roaring saluting elbow! SOLDIER LOCKS ON THE CHIKARA SPECIAL! Donst is trying to fight out of it! HE TAPS OUT! The Colony advances and, for the first time, someone has beaten a member of the Bruderschaft. The match was pretty good, but once again the storytelling elevates it. The Chikara Special had been pretty devalued the last few months, so I don’t think anyone really bought that it would finish, but man did the building explode when it did. Really good match that was just shy of the other two four star contests but was a great ending to Night 2.

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Overall - 8.5 / 10

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In a word, WOW. With two must-see matches and two really fantastic ones, this is Chikara’s best show of the year so far. I only gave low ratings to two matches, and one of those was a designed squash…and I even loved that! What I adore about Chikara, and I’m sure I’ve said this before, but what I love is how they can have four amazing matches and they can be so very different from one another. You know how you saw Teams from BJW and Osaka Pro and thought, “I don’t know…where’s a Team Uppercut or Team WWF?” Once you see these guys in action, you’ll be thinking, “They better be back next year, too”. While there’s no Bryan Danielson, Austin Aries, El Generico or Kota Ibushi on this show, prepare to fall in love with a lot of guys you’ve never heard of. Chikara Pro once again delivers a helluva show, and it just may end up the Chikara DVD of the Year. If you have cash, a credit card or access to someone’s wallet…BUY THIS SHOW!

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The All-Important M’s

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Match: Tough one here, but I’ll go with F.I.S.T./Osaka. While the BJW/TFIN match had some crazy moments and moves, the contest between F.I.S.T. and Osaka was just barely better. Seriously, between the bells, the action didn’t stop and the crowd was white hot.

Move: The Triple German Suplex, of course. The roof lifted about eight inches off the walls when he hit that German. It was like something out of a dream…or, if you were Jigsaw, Okabayashi or Helios…a nightmare.

Moment: Soldier Ant tapping out Tim Donst in the Chikara Special and the celebration afterwards. “The beer flowed like wine that day…”

MVP: Malachi Jack– I’m completely kidding. I’m going with Daisuke Sekimoto, not only because of the three amazing moments he was a part of during his match, but he’s so good that he makes you want to see Night 3 just to find out what he’ll do next. He was the brightest spot in a terrific match, so he gets the nod.

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Welcome to this late Monday edition of CHIKARMY Insider! Chikara officials finally got around to posting the correct match times and finishes, so I’ve got full live reports on Aniversario weekend events! Lazy Chikara officials; all they had to do was run an afternoon show in a distant, debuting location, speed home, watch hours upon hours of Lost: Series Finale coverage and do the whole sleep thing. I could’ve gotten it done in twice the time. Er…yeah, twice. Finally, there’s some Classic Chikara featuring moments and video packages of past Anniversary events. THEME PARTY! YES!

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A special thanks to all those who texted and typed up results on Twitter and on various websites, especially Mushroom Jones. I can take zero credit for the information provided, only for gathering and organizing it for everyone. Also, thanks to all of those who created and/or upload videos that will be in the Classic Chikara section!

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Aniversario Zehn

May 22, 2010 ~ Tyngsboro, MA

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1. Amasis d. Green Ant (7:48). Amasis wins with a roaring elbow strike.

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2. Tursas & Daizee Haze d. The Throwbacks (11:31). Tursas flattens Dasher Hatfield with a Second-Rope Big Splash for the victory.

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3. STIGMA d. Ophidian (11:54). The Rey de Voladores winner is bested by veteran STIGMA with That Japanese Move, a finisher he hasn’t used successfully since his Shane Storm days.

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4. Grudge Match #1: Equinox & Helios d. Tim Donst & Lince Dorado (11:38). The TFIN duo gets their first point towards a shot at the Campeonatos de Parejas when Helios pins Dorado with a Shooting Star Press.

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5. Grudge Match #2: Pinkie Sanchez d. Fire Ant (12:44). Pink Ant beats Fire Ant with the Inverted CHIKARA Special in a pretty big upset.

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6. Grudge Match #3: Ares w/ ????????? d. UltraMantis Black (10:43). As many speculated, the “new pet” that Ares mentioned in a blog post was none other than Delirious. Delirious was led by chains to the ring wearing amazing new attire. It was completely new, with an obscure-looking mask that was comparable to a white veil. Ares asked Jakob Hammermeier for a dog whistle. He used the whistle and Delirious KILLED Crossbones. During the match, UltraMantis proclaimed he would save Delirious. The finish saw Mantis looking over to Delirious who was on the apron, and the distraction gave Ares an opening where he rolled up Mantis and used the tights for the win. UltraMantis Black was very distraught afterward. He looked like he was going to remove his mask, talking about how the BDK took everything from him. He kept it on…for now…

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7. Eight-Man Main Event: Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw, Hallowicked & Frightmare d. Vin Gerard, Colin Delaney, Chuck Taylor & Gran Akuma (22:21). Frightmare pins Vin Gerard with the Kneecolepsy.

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Show Thoughts

A lot of big upsets on this show, and the main event sounds like it could be outstanding. Pinkie beating Fire Ant, The Future is Now beating the BDK and STIGMA beating Ophidian really surprised me, as I assumed that Ophidian was on his way to a YLC Title shot and Fire Ant is…he’s Fire Ant. He rarely loses one on one confrontations. STIGMA besting Ophidian using his old shining wizard is even more interesting. Bear in mind, STIGMA and Mike Quackenbush still hold three points and a tag title shot if they can reconcile their differences. Delirious serving as the Bruderschaft’s new pet should be interesting, especially if it leads to a scenario where UltraMantis Black puts his mask on the line. The main event will surely be awesome, but with fractures occurring in both F.I.S.T. and The UnStable, it’ll be interesting to see  if we get any movement on that front.

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Aniversario Elf

May 23, 2010 ~ Union City, NJ

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1. Elimination Tag: Equinox & Helios d. Super Smash Brothers, 3.0 and Chuck Taylor & Gran Akuma (13:13). The SSB are eliminated first when Equinox takes Player Dos’s head off with a nasty right hand. Gran Akuma pins Jagged with a Frog Splash to give the F.I.S.T. duo three points, but Helios pins Taylor in the end with a Standing SSP, so F.I.S.T. loses their three and the win gives Jimmy and Helios three points and a future title shot!

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2. Lince Dorado d. Fire Ant (10:05). Dorado pins Fire Ant with a Shooting Star Pres in yet another upset. Fire Ant goes 0 for 2 on the weekend.

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3. Vin Gerard d. Amasis (13:15). With a little help from Colin Delaney, Gerard beats Amasis.

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4. Eight-Man Tag: Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw & The Throwbacks d. Tursas, Pinkie Sanchez, Sara Del Rey & Daizee Haze (14:14). Jigsaw gets a HUGE win over Pinkie Sanchez with the Jig N’ Tonic.

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5. Young Lions Cup: Tim Donst© d. Soldier Ant (11:31). Donst retains once again, this time with the Inverted CHIKARA Special. Booo.

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6. Campeonatos de Parejas: Claudio Castagnoli & Ares© d. Hallowicked & Frightmare (11:45). In the opening moments, the BDK get the first fall when Castagnoli pins Frightmare following a vicious attack for the BDK’s newest member, Delirious. Nick Sabato is your referee, and he’s playing favorites BIG TIME. He slow counts a couple of times in favor of his BDK brethren. A modified sidewinder by Incoherence almost gets them a fall. A rafters-assisted hurricanrana by Frightmare on Claudio almost gets one, too. Unfortunately, the Bruderschaft retain when Ares hits the Toblerone Driver on Frightmare, making their first defense in two straight falls. DOUBLE BOO. Said to be an absolutely insane match.

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7. Main Event: Eddie Kingston d. Tommy Dreamer via DQ (12:39). The BDK decides to screw with Kingston by interfering in his dream match. Bryce is pulled out of the ring by Sabato, but Dreamer will have none of it. He grabs Sabato and the evil official disqualifies him. Ares and Claudio attack but are run off by Kingston and Dreamer. Jakob Hammermeier takes the Backfist to the Future from Kingston and a sick Death Valley Driver from Dreamer! Dreamer makes a challenge for the next Philly show: Dreamer & Kingston vs. Claudio & Ares! GAH!

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Show Thoughts

Top to bottom, I’ve heard nothing but excellent things about this show. The BDK retain their all their titles, but the matches should be very fun to watch. I think I would have preferred to see 3.0 face the BDK for the tag titles next instead of Jimmy Olsen and Helios, but I don’t dislike the decision. It’ll have more heat, more meaning and they match up well. Claudio tossing Helios into the lights and Equinox punching Ares’ face off should be boatloads of awesome. Fire Ant once again loses against the BDK, and I can’t say I love that, but the match should be good. The only real puzzling thing on this show is what’s up with The UnStable. Colin and Vin argue at King of Trios but Delaney helps him get the win here. Both Gerard and STIGMA are using old moves again. Strange. And I’m in the minority, but bring Dreamer back for the next Philly show is not a bad move to me. A Dreamer/Kingston team taking on the BDK Leaders in Philadelphia is not a bad thing unless they main event. Overall, it looks like two more worthwhile shows to pick up when they get released in a couple of weeks.

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- 2005 saw Chikara celebrating its birthday with three big events: Aniversario Blue, Aniversario Orange and Aniversario White. Here’s an awesome highlight video of all three events!

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- Back at Aniversario Epsilon in 2006, F1RST Wrestling’s Arik Cannon, who had recently started paying tribute to the Kool-Aid Man during matches, got a present from some creative fans.

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- At Aniversario? in 2007, Shayne Hawke faced off against Player Uno. As usual with Mr. Hawke, he resorted to shady tactics to get a win.

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- Here is a trailer for one of the 2009 anniversary shows, Aniversario Yin.

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- From the second 2009 anniversary show, Aniversario Yang, El Hijo del Ice Cream of the tag team Los Ice Creams decides to try and fly like no one in history.

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- This year, in setting up a Young Lions Cup Match between champion Tim Donst and challenger Soldier Ant at Aniversario Elf, we are introduced to The Former Young Lions Cup Secret Society.

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- Please leave any comments or questions you might have and I’ll do my best to respond with as much colloquial Irish gossip as I can conjure. I’d like to do a contest or something cool like that, but I’m not sure how much interest there’d be. Let you voice be heard! Also, let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see in the column, like fantasy booking, treasure hunts, wish-lists, secret handshakes, etc.

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